One shot ficlet, Boromir/Faramir

[archet]

I have this, almost resistance to post this. Have been all about the fluff fic lately, though recently I've had B/F on the brain (lovely thing to have on the brain, right? *g*) but then Faramir shows up and demands a moment to angst, just a little. As usual-and I've said this before-I tried to leave him on, if not a happy note, at least a hopeful one.

Title: Someplace Far From Here
Author: Archet
Pairing: Boromir/Faramir, mention of Faramir/Éowyn
Rating: PG
Summary: Faramir is left with a dream, and a hope.
Archiving: My LJ, please ask first if interested.
Disclaimer: these characters are not mine, I did not create them I only made this ficlet.
Feedback: most welcomed and appreciated
Crossposted to ithilien_night, gondorcest, sons_of_gondor


~:*:~


There is a dream I have. I have had it so long it seems more a memory than a fantasy, more something that once was rather than something I have only wished for. In it you are beside me, sleeping, and I am looking upon your spent body. I am pressed against your bare skin that is damp with sweat, and in the candlelight of my dream, my almost-memory, you gleam in the aftermath of our fire. There, in this perfect place of want, it is I that has tired you so. It is I that has loved you so well for so long that your fine, green eyes simply cannot remain open, even though you did try otherwise.


It is I that watches over you, my brother, my lover in body, in blood, in bond.


Some would say it is not right, this desire. Perhaps it is not right to want you so, and I do want you, wholly and completely. I do want you, and so I cannot care for what is right or wrong in it. Can love this strong be wrong? If so, then let all men be wrong for just one moment. Let them know what it is to dream.


We were both grown men before I dared to put a hand upon you. No dream, this. No, this is a memory, and I well remember the look you gave me, and the words.


I have been waiting, so long, Faramir.


It was then that I realized. You had been waiting where I had been afraid to want, to reach out. You had been waiting, and I had finally done what you could not. Be the first to try. Another few moments and I would have had my first, true taste of you, but as it happened the world made itself known and we lost our chance.


In the days that followed, we tried, but to no avail. Someone always needed you. Someone was ever at my elbow. Duty and responsibly separated us like glass walls, and through them we looked and needed yet we did not dare break them down and touch one another recklessly. Soon after our first temptation, another dream intruded upon me, one of destiny, I realize now. A dream of what would be, and then suddenly you were making ready to leave our City, and our chance was leaving with you. I mourned its loss the day you set out for Rivendell almost as much as I mourned the loss of your presence near me. You were going far away, and never had we been so parted.


I think I knew, even then, that I would never lay hands upon you as a lover would do. I watched you ride away, and I knew, I would never be granted the chance to show you how much I loved, how much I wanted. How much I needed.


Some time after your departure, a new dream came and showed itself to me. It spoke to me that I had lost more than a chance at loving you. I had lost you. Much later, my king told me where, and how, and your last words. I thanked him and have not spoken of it again. Since, the memories of you I hold dear and my cherished dreams are yet still my faithful companions. Both are like the sunlight against my skin, golden and beautiful, and will warm me, always. And like sunlight, I cannot hold them near, or make love to them, or press them close to my heart...well, perhaps I can, after a fashion, but only in a way that brings more pain than happiness.


Loving you without boundaries is what I wanted. Even now, with a devoted wife of whom I honor, of whom I have come to cherish, you are what I want. My wife knows, and though we two have never spoken of it, I believe she understands me in ways few ever have. We are alike in that way, understanding without words.


You are someplace far from here, lost to me, and nothing can mend the ache that truth has wrought, though my dream remains, just as my love has, just as my want has. These all I hold for you still, as ever. These all I hold, along with one lingering hope that one day, when I travel beyond the ties of this world, I will find you again. I will find you someplace far from here, and there in a place that I imagine has no wrong, no right, my dream will be made true. Our chance will be realized. This hope lives within me and I believe it will come to pass, one day. How or why, I cannot say, I only know I believe in it more surely than I believe in anything. I must.


It will come to pass, and there, at last, I will love you as I was meant to, as I do now. Wholly. Completely. Always, my Boromir.

Comments

[faramir-boromir.livejournal.com]

Wonderful, just wonderful. I particularly liked You had been waiting, and I had finally done what you could not. One of the brothers always has to be the first to move, and I have typically imagined that it was Faramir. Thank you for this.

[archet.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! Oh yes, I *always* envision Faramir as being the first to reach out and Boromir as being the one not to take the risk for if he did and was wrong...so glad you enjoyed, thanks for reading! :)