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archetTitle: Angels Ain’t Easy
Author: Archet
Pairing: OMC Jody McKinnon/Matt Hawkes
Fandom: High Mountain Rangers
Summary: a story of falling in love, figuring things out and just holding on.
Disclaimer: I did not create the High Mountain Ranger character/s, only this fic and the Original Male Character, Jody McKinnon, and any other original characters in supporting roles. No copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: this fic is set in 1989, approximately a year and a half after the events of the final episode of High Mountain Rangers. There will be no acknowledgment of the events of the spin-off show Jesse Hawkes.
Note: this fic takes place a little over four months after Bad Luck, Bad Guys and High Mountain Rangers and is a sequel to that fic, so reading that first is recommended.
Additional: this fic will depict same sex relationships. If this ain’t your thing, venture no further.
Warnings this chapter: none
Summary this chapter: Busy watching over his boy, Jody questions Matt's organizational skills, discovers forgotten relics, and gets the story of Jonathan.
****Additional Notes at end of story****
~*~
Chapter 12: Hawks and Lovers
Padding barefoot down the hallway, Jody paused at the doorway to Matt’s bedroom. He poked his head in, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the dim space. The night before Jody had closed the blinds over the window, and had drawn the curtains so that the midmorning sunlight pressing against the drapes now was little more than a soft, diffused glow, and didn’t offer much in the way of brightening the room.
Still in the same position that Jody had tucked him into hours earlier, Matt lay on his back, a pillow propped under his left knee, quilt pulled up to his neck, fast asleep. Smiling, Jody retreated, pulling the door partially shut. He’d been checking on Matt every few hours, waking him, making Matt exchange a few words with him, and the last time he’d woken his lover Matt had looked at him, smiled crookedly and said, “Gimme a kiss.”
Of course, Jody had fulfilled the request, allowing a quick brush of his mouth over Matt’s. It’d been a difficult thing to set Matt back down against his pillows with only that, and nothing more, though he’d promptly fallen back to sleep with a sweet smile on his lips. It seemed his boy had been due for a long, deep rest, though Jody would’ve preferred that it not take a blow to the head to procure one.
Wandering back into the kitchen, already thinking about lunch, Jody pulled open the door to the walk-in pantry. It was a tight space, not much larger than a shallow closet, with shelves mounted to the wall, partially loaded with various canned goods and such. He’d decided that he wanted to make an old fashioned chicken pot pie. It was a recipe of his mother’s that he hadn’t tried in years.
Cooking had long been something Jody enjoyed, and it’d begun with his mom. She’d always invited him to join in with making dinner from a young age, and the satisfaction of creating a pleasing dish had stayed with him into adulthood. Some of the guys in his unit had been amused to discover the battered notebook he kept filled with all manner of recipes, and hadn’t really believed in his culinary skills until he’d whipped up a batch of his favorite salted caramel crunch cookies one night.
Looking back on that time now, Jody could admit that his cooking had served to make him much more approachable, and afterwards several of his team had asked for tips, mostly on how to impress their wives once they rotated back home. Ironically, he’d never been much of a joiner, and though he had a few close friendships with a few guys in his unit, for the most part, beyond the common bonds of brotherhood and service they all shared, he’d never been one to open up much. Being gay in the US military meant keeping one’s guard in place, constantly.
Gathering his straying thoughts Jody turned back to the task at hand. Pulling a few ingredients off the shelves, he cast around for the flour. Looking around the pantry with a critical eye, Jody discovered that Matt didn’t seem to have any sort of logic when it came to organizing his foodstuffs. Canned veggies were stacked next to the pasta, which was piled next to the bread and cookies. Other canned items, like fruit and meat, were scattered haphazardly throughout, and staples like flour and sugar were nowhere to be seen. Jody frowned, seriously considering how long it’d take him to bring the pantry into proper order.
How does he find anything?
Peering deeper into the disordered shelves, Jody looked down when his toe bumped against something cold and hard. A squat, round tin sat on the floor. Bending, Jody picked it up, inspecting it. A crooked paper label on the side of the tin bore the messy, handwritten scrawl of ‘flour’.
“On the floor,” he muttered. “Of course, where else would it be?”
As he turned to leave the pantry, a bright shimmer caught his eye. Next to the flour a square, dark red box sat tucked in the corner, shoved back against the wall. Curious, Jody nudged it with his bare foot. The edge of a curling silver ribbon spilling out of the box caught the light, sparkling. The source of the shimmer.
Intrigued, Jody set his haul down on the empty end of one shelf and bending, hefted the box. It was heavier than he’d expected. He gave it an experimental shake, garnering only a slight rustle from whatever was inside.
“This boy,” he said, smiling even as he folded back the tabs of the open box, expecting to find something edible, perhaps a long forgotten holiday fruit cake judging by the shiny ribbon, but his eyes widened as he took its contents.
Nestled in a wrap of silvery, crinkled tissue paper sat a glass figurine of some kind. Beyond curious, Jody stepped out the pantry, and walking to the kitchen table, set the box down on its surface. He carefully unearthed the figurine from its protective nest of paper.
Gingerly drawing the figure from the box, Jody realized it was of a bird, perhaps an eagle. It was definitely a bird of prey, its wide wings were outstretched, and its head lowered, sharp talons out as if on the downward charge toward quarry. Slightly smaller than his closed fist, and mounted onto a round wooden base, Jody set it on the kitchen table, turning it slightly, mesmerized at how the green glass caught the light.
Running his fingers along the bird’s wings, he was impressed by the artist’s skills and artistic rendering. Even the fine lines and spines of individual feathers were wrought in the carving. As Jody looked, he realized it wasn’t made glass at all, but some sort of semi-precious stone. The sea-green material seemed imbued with an inner radiance, an opalescent aspect the likes of which Jody had never seen before.
Jade? Maybe Serpentine?
Far from being a gemologist, Jody recognized expensive when he saw it. He carefully nudged the statuette further from the edge of the table. Tilting his head, he realized something else. It wasn’t an eagle …no, he suspected this was the depiction of a hawk fashioned from the luminous green stone.
Studying the hawk for a few seconds more, Jody wondered why Matt had something so beautiful, and obviously valuable, shoved in a box and stashed on the floor of his pantry, but then again, Matt’s organization skills left something to be desired. Shrugging off his wonderment, he turned back to his quest for ingredients, and for the better part of the next hour or so, forgot about the hawk, absorbed in his plans for the pot pie.
It wasn’t until Jody was sliding the pie into the oven that a soft sound captured his attention. Looking up, he found Matt standing barefoot on the threshold of the kitchen, head tilted back, sniffing the air appreciatively. With his tousled blonde hair and green eyes still heavy from his long rest, he looked positively edible. He’d pulled on a pair of jogging shorts, and a rumpled t-shirt that stretched tightly over his chest and rode up a little on his stomach, revealing a tantalizing glimpse of flat belly. The t-shirt was emblazoned with a colorful graphic for the 1980 Lake Placid Olympics on its front.
Closing the oven door, Jody did the math in his head, reckoning that Matt had been about fifteen years old at the time of the ’80 Winter Games. He smiled inwardly; envisioning a younger version of his lover in his mind’s eye camped out in front of the television, yelling at the screen. Resisting the urge to cross the kitchen and kiss the sleepiness from his boy’s heavy eyes, Jody instead wiped his hands on a kitchen towel, turned and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms in front him.
“You are supposed to be in bed.”
“What is that? It smells amazing,” Matt asked, shuffling across the kitchen, making a beeline for Jody.
Unfolding his arms, Jody smiled into blonde hair as Matt leaned against him, tucking his face against Jody’s neck. Soft lips brushed his skin as Matt spoke, and Jody exhaled, a shiver of delight racing through him.
“Mmm, you smell good, too.”
Smoothing a hand up Matt’s back, Jody sighed. “You’re avoiding the issue.”
Matt groaned, burrowing even closer. “I’ve been in bed all day. I’ve slept more in the past twenty-four hours than in my entire life.”
Chuckling, Jody shook his head, brushing fingers through Matt’s hair, careful to keep his touch gentle along the back of his head where he’d taken the blow.
“I don’t see how that’s possible, but okay, and you need to get off that knee.”
Pulling back, Matt looked up at Jody through his lashes. “Come back to bed with me?”
It took a tremendous amount of will power not to take Matt up off his offer. “Take a seat, ranger-boy.”
Rolling his eyes, and fighting a smile, Matt turned toward the kitchen table, and froze. “Where the hell did that come from?”
Wondering at Matt’s rather startled tone, Jody said, “I found it in the pantry.”
“Oh,” Matt replied faintly, and finally uprooting himself, crossed to the table, pulled out a chair and sat down, stretching out his left leg. “So that’s where it was.”
Watching with interest the way Matt seemed unable to unfasten his gaze from the carving, Jody asked, “Isn’t it a hawk?”
Matt nodded, and at last his gaze dropped from the figurine. He began absently rubbing at his left knee, and stared down at the kitchen table, seemingly lost in thought. “Yeah, it’s a hawk.”
Checking the temperature display on the oven once more, and checking the time, Jody figured they had about an hour before the pot pie would be ready to come out. So, that should be plenty of time to parse out why a relatively small, carved hawk had set his boy on his heels.
“You wanna talk about it?” He asked, pulling out a chair across from Matt and sliding into it.
Brow furrowing, Matt dragged his gaze up from the table top. “About what?”
Lips pressing together, Jody cocked a brow, tilted his head, and waited.
“Oh,” Matt said, looking more focused. “Sorry, I just, I mean seeing that just suddenly brought back a ton of memories.”
“Good ones?” Jody wanted to know.
Matt shrugged. “Good and bad, I guess.” He took a breath. “Jonathan gave it to me.”
The ex.
“Is Jonathan still around?” Jody asked carefully.
Again, Matt looked startled. “What? No. I mean, as far I as I know he’s back in Vegas. We didn’t part on the best of terms, I guess you’d say.”
Jody nodded. “Hey, I’ll admit I’m curious. I want to know everything about you, but you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
Matt gave him a wan smile. “It’s okay. Someone told me recently that talking things out was healthy.”
Jody sat silently, watching as Matt’s gaze returned to the hawk.
“It’s made of sea-jade, you know. I’m told that’s pretty rare stuff, and is very difficult to carve.”
Reaching out to run a finger along one delicate wing, Matt added, “This thing set Jonathan back about thirty-five hundred dollars.”
Jody whistled softly. “Jesus.”
Matt nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I said, but he wanted me to have it. Said it matched my eyes.”
Jody considered the hawk with a new perception, and looked to Matt. “It does, actually. But you’re way prettier.”
Matt snorted, and some of the haze seemed to clear from his eyes. “Thanks.”
“How did you two meet?” Jody asked, becoming more and more curious.
“Jonathan came up here scouting for a location to build a new resort. He managed the Crystal River resort chain. As far as I know he still does.”
Jody tilted his head. “I’ve heard of it. Pricey, as I recall.”
Matt nodded. “They’re pretty high end …anyway; he was up around Raven’s Ridge checking things out. Said he liked to scout locations himself, look things over before making an offer on anything. The only problem was that he was on land that was definitely not for sale.”
Jody guessed, “I’m betting there was a complaint?”
Matt laughed shortly. “You betcha. He was up on the Shoshone ancestral land. They didn’t take kindly to some stranger poking around, asking questions and hinting at putting up a resort, especially after last year.”
“What happened last year?” Jody asked.
“A lumber company tried to get the rights to the land so they could log all the timber out, but Running Fox proved that the land was the Shoshone ancient burial ground, and was able to lock them out. He’s pretty protective of it.”
“I can imagine. Who is Running Fox?” Jody said.
“He’s a longtime friend of my dad’s, and of Frank. Actually, it’s kinda a crazy story. Running Fox, his grandson Jamie, my brother Cody, all got mixed up in a bit of a mess. A lot of stuff went down, but at the end of the day they were able to locate the actual burial ground just as the lumber company was about to gain rights to the land.”
“Sounds like Cody may take after his big brother, if he’s constantly finding himself in crazy circumstances,” Jody said.
Matt huffed. “You don’t even know. Anyway, Running Fox doesn’t care much for the local PD, so he called over to the station looking for Frank. Their families have been close forever. Frank was out on a call at the time, so I went out to see what was going on.”
Leaning back in his chair, Jody smirked. “Let me guess, sparks flew.”
“Sort of.” Matt paused, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Let’s just say Jonathan and I didn’t get along, not at first.”
“Sounds a little familiar,” Jody remarked, stretching out in his chair and lacing his fingers together over his belly.
Matt’s smile widened. “Maybe.” He paused for a second. “I escorted Jonathan off the property, him complaining the whole time. All the way back to the station he’s bitching nonstop, and then when I threatened to arrest him, he asked me out.”
“That sounds very familiar,” Jody said wryly. “He really went for it then?”
Matt gave him a smirk. “Yeah. I told him to fuck off, but he came back the next day, and asked again.”
“Persistent,” Jody said.
“You don’t know the half of it. I sorta admired his spirit. I thought Frank was going to drop kick him off the mountain at one point.”
“You must’ve seen something in him beyond being an asshole.”
Matt chuckled, leaning his elbows on the table and resting his hands there, palms down. His eyes swung back to the hawk. “I guess so. But you know, once you got past that annoying, hard ass front of his, he was really …something.”
This last was said quietly, and Jody felt a twist of unpleasantness in his gut. He kept his voice even as he said, “Can I ask what happened?”
Matt looked down, index finger drawing an aimless circle on the table. “At first everything was good, better than good, even. I’d never had a steady, boyfriend, I guess you’d say.” He looked up, mouth tilted in a crooked grin. “I mean, I’d fucked around, what guy hasn’t? But I’d never thought of myself as serious about another guy, until Jonathan.”
Jody took a fortifying breath, weighing his words carefully. “You’re young. There’s no reason you need to be serious with anyone, at least not until you’re sure of what you want.”
Silence. The moment stretched out between them. Suddenly it seemed as if they were having two different conversations, but then Matt smiled again, his gaze turning inward.
“Being with Jon taught me a lot. He was older than me, and I liked that. I liked that he taught me things about myself, drew things out of me that I’d only played around with, before. Things I needed, and liked doing. Things I liked doing for him.”
Matt stumbled to a halt, blush rising over his face, and with a flash of realization Jody understood that it was during his time with Jonathan that Matt had learned to hold back his orgasms. Jody’s mind wound back to their first night together, and how beautifully Matt had controlled himself, and had later displayed himself on the bed, arranged himself for Jody’s pleasure. It’d been the sexiest goddamned thing Jody had ever seen, and he recalled thinking that that type of composure had been learned behavior, suspecting that someone had given Matt some manner of instruction.
Someone older than him…
A stabbing feeling of utter wrongness raced through Jody at the thought of another man’s hands, or influence, on his boy, but his tone was gentle as he said, “Sounds like you learned a lot.”
Matt lifted his gaze to Jody’s. “Maybe. Despite everything, he really made me see things a lot clearer about the things I wanted from a relationship, and I think it’s made it easier for me, being with you. Because now I know exactly what I want, I know what I want to give to you. Does that make sense?”
Jody nodded, a wave of warmth welling inside him. Straightening, leaning forward in his chair he reached out, slid his hand across the table to tangle his fingers with Matt’s next to the green hawk.
“It does, angel.”
Matt’s fingers curled around his, and Jody felt the shade of wrongness that had been cast inside him fall away.
“Good,” Matt said firmly after a few seconds.
My beautiful boy.
The moment stretched out, and an unspoken understanding seemed to flow between them. They were together. No memory of a former lover was going to damage what was happening between them.
“Anyway,” Matt said, exhaling, and Jody braced himself for the bad news he knew was coming.
“Things were really good, for a while, but then he started getting real secretive. I can’t really explain it better than that. Jonathan was never what I’d call an open book, right? But he just seemed to shut down, even when we were –when we were, together; it was like he was shutting me out.”
“The more I pushed him to tell me what was wrong, the worse it got, and the more controlling he became. It got to the point where he was talking about me quitting the rangers, and coming abroad with him. He kept talking about traveling the world together, and leaving all our problems behind.”
“I don’t think it works that way,” Jody said evenly. “And I can’t imagine asking you to give up your career. It means too much to you.”
Matt nodded. “I know. I think, and this is going to sound crazy, but I think something scared him. I couldn’t get him to talk to me, though. He just wouldn’t. And when I wouldn’t let it go, he got more and more controlling, like that was going to solve anything.”
“Matt,” Jody hesitated, searching for right words. “Jonathan never hurt you, did he?”
For a moment Matt looked confused, then his eyes widened. “No. No. Not like that. He never physically abused me.”
Jody let out the breath he’d been holding, relieved, but there were more than one kind of abuse, and he said as much.
“Baby, he didn’t have to beat you to abuse you.”
Tilting his head, Matt assured Jody, “I know. I’ve seen abuse, and yeah, you could say there was emotional manipulation, but it wasn’t anything that I wasn’t aware of, and when it got to be too much, I called him out on it. That’s why there at the end we were fighting all the time.”
Not liking Matt’s explanation, but willing to accept it, Jody said deadpan, “Good. Otherwise I was about to track this guy down.”
Matt brushed his thumb over Jody’s knuckles. “It’s fine. I’m fine. No covert ops needed, babe.”
Jody grinned, a sharp-edged expression. “We’ll see.”
Matt smirked. “Okay, but keep in mind, I don’t know how much bail money I can come up with on short notice.”
Jody’s smiled deepened, tipped into something more serious. “Oh, I wouldn’t get caught, baby.”
Jody held Matt’s gaze as his meaning hit. After a couple seconds Matt leaned forward in his chair, over the table, over the hawk. Jody rose slightly in his chair to meet him. Their lips brushed together, once, twice, a gentle meeting before Matt opened to him. Jody slid his tongue inside, groaning hungrily into Matt’s mouth as he savored his lover’s warmth, his sweetness.
At length, Jody pulled back, remembering Dr. Parker’s instructions… calm, and quiet … no strenuous activity.
Licking his lips, a deep hunger rising inside him that he needed both hands to get hold of to control, it was a near thing that he didn’t sling Matt over his shoulder and carry him back to bed.
“So what happened?” he asked, getting them back on track, ignoring the slight huskiness of his voice.
Matt, his mouth red and wet, looked a little dazed before he blinked and refocused. “Oh. Um. Right.”
Jody grinned as he waited.
Matt exhaled. “I came home one day, and he was gone. He’d packed up while I was at work, and took off. This hawk, and his set of house keys, were all that he left.”
The fucking coward.
Matt shrugged. “I haven’t spoken to him since, so, I guess he decided I wasn’t worth whatever he was going through.”
“If that’s true then he’s a damn fool. You’re worth everything,” Jody said immediately, pouring his conviction into his tone, and intent gaze.
Matt smiled, an enticing curl of his mouth, and it warmed Jody from the inside out. He gave Jody a long, searching look, and said, “Ditto.”
Jody leaned in, wanting another kiss, wanting a return to Matt’s warmth, and sweetness, and pushing the hawk aside, Matt met him halfway.
****Additional Notes****
Still trying to get back on a regular weekend posting schedule, but for now it's just random! Why can't life understand I have fic to write?
Finally managed to fill Jody in on Matt's ex, and had a look at the jade hawk, which is important for reasons we won't discuss at the moment. *cue mysterious music* I went back watched the ep Scared Ground since I meant to refer briefly back to this ep. For some reason I thought that Running Fox was related to Frank, but a faithful reader corrected me on this. ;-D And I also remember this as being a 'Frank' ep, but it really wasn't, he didn't have too much to do. I think it would've been cool if he could've taken over all of Jesse's scenes, but hey, this was a Robert Conrad vehicle so I get it. The more I revisit the HMR eps, I'm liking Frank more and more, and if Jody wasn't already on the scene, well....
In Scared Ground I didn't hear Running Fox's tribe addressed specifically, as far as I can recall, and it was only Matt mentioning that he'd gathered up Shoshone maps to help with the burial site search that gave a clue as to what tribe they were all talking about, so I'm assuming the burial ground and Running Fox belong to the Shoshone. If anyone knows different do correct me! I did listen to some of the ep while in the car so maybe I totally missed something.
The sea-jade is a totally made up thing, though there are things referred to as 'sea jade' or more typically 'ocean jade'. Sea-jade is just how it came to me in my imagination and my brain wouldn't accept anything else... mainly it's just supposed to be pretty, and expensive, and rare, and match Matt's eyes. I've referred to them as being sea-green, and in my mind is a lovely sort of clear light green with a hint of blue. It's difficult to tell from Christian Conrad's pics, (for years I thought he had blue eyes!) but that's what I've landed on, and besides, it sounds romantic to me, :D If you google sea-green eyes you'll get some interesting examples.
Also, it goes without saying that at some point Matt's pantry is totally going to be reorganized. Ah, enough rambling, as always, share your thoughts/feedback in the comments!
fade/out
Author: Archet
Pairing: OMC Jody McKinnon/Matt Hawkes
Fandom: High Mountain Rangers
Summary: a story of falling in love, figuring things out and just holding on.
Disclaimer: I did not create the High Mountain Ranger character/s, only this fic and the Original Male Character, Jody McKinnon, and any other original characters in supporting roles. No copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: this fic is set in 1989, approximately a year and a half after the events of the final episode of High Mountain Rangers. There will be no acknowledgment of the events of the spin-off show Jesse Hawkes.
Note: this fic takes place a little over four months after Bad Luck, Bad Guys and High Mountain Rangers and is a sequel to that fic, so reading that first is recommended.
Additional: this fic will depict same sex relationships. If this ain’t your thing, venture no further.
Warnings this chapter: none
Summary this chapter: Busy watching over his boy, Jody questions Matt's organizational skills, discovers forgotten relics, and gets the story of Jonathan.
****Additional Notes at end of story****
~*~
Chapter 12: Hawks and Lovers
Padding barefoot down the hallway, Jody paused at the doorway to Matt’s bedroom. He poked his head in, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the dim space. The night before Jody had closed the blinds over the window, and had drawn the curtains so that the midmorning sunlight pressing against the drapes now was little more than a soft, diffused glow, and didn’t offer much in the way of brightening the room.
Still in the same position that Jody had tucked him into hours earlier, Matt lay on his back, a pillow propped under his left knee, quilt pulled up to his neck, fast asleep. Smiling, Jody retreated, pulling the door partially shut. He’d been checking on Matt every few hours, waking him, making Matt exchange a few words with him, and the last time he’d woken his lover Matt had looked at him, smiled crookedly and said, “Gimme a kiss.”
Of course, Jody had fulfilled the request, allowing a quick brush of his mouth over Matt’s. It’d been a difficult thing to set Matt back down against his pillows with only that, and nothing more, though he’d promptly fallen back to sleep with a sweet smile on his lips. It seemed his boy had been due for a long, deep rest, though Jody would’ve preferred that it not take a blow to the head to procure one.
Wandering back into the kitchen, already thinking about lunch, Jody pulled open the door to the walk-in pantry. It was a tight space, not much larger than a shallow closet, with shelves mounted to the wall, partially loaded with various canned goods and such. He’d decided that he wanted to make an old fashioned chicken pot pie. It was a recipe of his mother’s that he hadn’t tried in years.
Cooking had long been something Jody enjoyed, and it’d begun with his mom. She’d always invited him to join in with making dinner from a young age, and the satisfaction of creating a pleasing dish had stayed with him into adulthood. Some of the guys in his unit had been amused to discover the battered notebook he kept filled with all manner of recipes, and hadn’t really believed in his culinary skills until he’d whipped up a batch of his favorite salted caramel crunch cookies one night.
Looking back on that time now, Jody could admit that his cooking had served to make him much more approachable, and afterwards several of his team had asked for tips, mostly on how to impress their wives once they rotated back home. Ironically, he’d never been much of a joiner, and though he had a few close friendships with a few guys in his unit, for the most part, beyond the common bonds of brotherhood and service they all shared, he’d never been one to open up much. Being gay in the US military meant keeping one’s guard in place, constantly.
Gathering his straying thoughts Jody turned back to the task at hand. Pulling a few ingredients off the shelves, he cast around for the flour. Looking around the pantry with a critical eye, Jody discovered that Matt didn’t seem to have any sort of logic when it came to organizing his foodstuffs. Canned veggies were stacked next to the pasta, which was piled next to the bread and cookies. Other canned items, like fruit and meat, were scattered haphazardly throughout, and staples like flour and sugar were nowhere to be seen. Jody frowned, seriously considering how long it’d take him to bring the pantry into proper order.
How does he find anything?
Peering deeper into the disordered shelves, Jody looked down when his toe bumped against something cold and hard. A squat, round tin sat on the floor. Bending, Jody picked it up, inspecting it. A crooked paper label on the side of the tin bore the messy, handwritten scrawl of ‘flour’.
“On the floor,” he muttered. “Of course, where else would it be?”
As he turned to leave the pantry, a bright shimmer caught his eye. Next to the flour a square, dark red box sat tucked in the corner, shoved back against the wall. Curious, Jody nudged it with his bare foot. The edge of a curling silver ribbon spilling out of the box caught the light, sparkling. The source of the shimmer.
Intrigued, Jody set his haul down on the empty end of one shelf and bending, hefted the box. It was heavier than he’d expected. He gave it an experimental shake, garnering only a slight rustle from whatever was inside.
“This boy,” he said, smiling even as he folded back the tabs of the open box, expecting to find something edible, perhaps a long forgotten holiday fruit cake judging by the shiny ribbon, but his eyes widened as he took its contents.
Nestled in a wrap of silvery, crinkled tissue paper sat a glass figurine of some kind. Beyond curious, Jody stepped out the pantry, and walking to the kitchen table, set the box down on its surface. He carefully unearthed the figurine from its protective nest of paper.
Gingerly drawing the figure from the box, Jody realized it was of a bird, perhaps an eagle. It was definitely a bird of prey, its wide wings were outstretched, and its head lowered, sharp talons out as if on the downward charge toward quarry. Slightly smaller than his closed fist, and mounted onto a round wooden base, Jody set it on the kitchen table, turning it slightly, mesmerized at how the green glass caught the light.
Running his fingers along the bird’s wings, he was impressed by the artist’s skills and artistic rendering. Even the fine lines and spines of individual feathers were wrought in the carving. As Jody looked, he realized it wasn’t made glass at all, but some sort of semi-precious stone. The sea-green material seemed imbued with an inner radiance, an opalescent aspect the likes of which Jody had never seen before.
Jade? Maybe Serpentine?
Far from being a gemologist, Jody recognized expensive when he saw it. He carefully nudged the statuette further from the edge of the table. Tilting his head, he realized something else. It wasn’t an eagle …no, he suspected this was the depiction of a hawk fashioned from the luminous green stone.
Studying the hawk for a few seconds more, Jody wondered why Matt had something so beautiful, and obviously valuable, shoved in a box and stashed on the floor of his pantry, but then again, Matt’s organization skills left something to be desired. Shrugging off his wonderment, he turned back to his quest for ingredients, and for the better part of the next hour or so, forgot about the hawk, absorbed in his plans for the pot pie.
It wasn’t until Jody was sliding the pie into the oven that a soft sound captured his attention. Looking up, he found Matt standing barefoot on the threshold of the kitchen, head tilted back, sniffing the air appreciatively. With his tousled blonde hair and green eyes still heavy from his long rest, he looked positively edible. He’d pulled on a pair of jogging shorts, and a rumpled t-shirt that stretched tightly over his chest and rode up a little on his stomach, revealing a tantalizing glimpse of flat belly. The t-shirt was emblazoned with a colorful graphic for the 1980 Lake Placid Olympics on its front.
Closing the oven door, Jody did the math in his head, reckoning that Matt had been about fifteen years old at the time of the ’80 Winter Games. He smiled inwardly; envisioning a younger version of his lover in his mind’s eye camped out in front of the television, yelling at the screen. Resisting the urge to cross the kitchen and kiss the sleepiness from his boy’s heavy eyes, Jody instead wiped his hands on a kitchen towel, turned and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms in front him.
“You are supposed to be in bed.”
“What is that? It smells amazing,” Matt asked, shuffling across the kitchen, making a beeline for Jody.
Unfolding his arms, Jody smiled into blonde hair as Matt leaned against him, tucking his face against Jody’s neck. Soft lips brushed his skin as Matt spoke, and Jody exhaled, a shiver of delight racing through him.
“Mmm, you smell good, too.”
Smoothing a hand up Matt’s back, Jody sighed. “You’re avoiding the issue.”
Matt groaned, burrowing even closer. “I’ve been in bed all day. I’ve slept more in the past twenty-four hours than in my entire life.”
Chuckling, Jody shook his head, brushing fingers through Matt’s hair, careful to keep his touch gentle along the back of his head where he’d taken the blow.
“I don’t see how that’s possible, but okay, and you need to get off that knee.”
Pulling back, Matt looked up at Jody through his lashes. “Come back to bed with me?”
It took a tremendous amount of will power not to take Matt up off his offer. “Take a seat, ranger-boy.”
Rolling his eyes, and fighting a smile, Matt turned toward the kitchen table, and froze. “Where the hell did that come from?”
Wondering at Matt’s rather startled tone, Jody said, “I found it in the pantry.”
“Oh,” Matt replied faintly, and finally uprooting himself, crossed to the table, pulled out a chair and sat down, stretching out his left leg. “So that’s where it was.”
Watching with interest the way Matt seemed unable to unfasten his gaze from the carving, Jody asked, “Isn’t it a hawk?”
Matt nodded, and at last his gaze dropped from the figurine. He began absently rubbing at his left knee, and stared down at the kitchen table, seemingly lost in thought. “Yeah, it’s a hawk.”
Checking the temperature display on the oven once more, and checking the time, Jody figured they had about an hour before the pot pie would be ready to come out. So, that should be plenty of time to parse out why a relatively small, carved hawk had set his boy on his heels.
“You wanna talk about it?” He asked, pulling out a chair across from Matt and sliding into it.
Brow furrowing, Matt dragged his gaze up from the table top. “About what?”
Lips pressing together, Jody cocked a brow, tilted his head, and waited.
“Oh,” Matt said, looking more focused. “Sorry, I just, I mean seeing that just suddenly brought back a ton of memories.”
“Good ones?” Jody wanted to know.
Matt shrugged. “Good and bad, I guess.” He took a breath. “Jonathan gave it to me.”
The ex.
“Is Jonathan still around?” Jody asked carefully.
Again, Matt looked startled. “What? No. I mean, as far I as I know he’s back in Vegas. We didn’t part on the best of terms, I guess you’d say.”
Jody nodded. “Hey, I’ll admit I’m curious. I want to know everything about you, but you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
Matt gave him a wan smile. “It’s okay. Someone told me recently that talking things out was healthy.”
Jody sat silently, watching as Matt’s gaze returned to the hawk.
“It’s made of sea-jade, you know. I’m told that’s pretty rare stuff, and is very difficult to carve.”
Reaching out to run a finger along one delicate wing, Matt added, “This thing set Jonathan back about thirty-five hundred dollars.”
Jody whistled softly. “Jesus.”
Matt nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I said, but he wanted me to have it. Said it matched my eyes.”
Jody considered the hawk with a new perception, and looked to Matt. “It does, actually. But you’re way prettier.”
Matt snorted, and some of the haze seemed to clear from his eyes. “Thanks.”
“How did you two meet?” Jody asked, becoming more and more curious.
“Jonathan came up here scouting for a location to build a new resort. He managed the Crystal River resort chain. As far as I know he still does.”
Jody tilted his head. “I’ve heard of it. Pricey, as I recall.”
Matt nodded. “They’re pretty high end …anyway; he was up around Raven’s Ridge checking things out. Said he liked to scout locations himself, look things over before making an offer on anything. The only problem was that he was on land that was definitely not for sale.”
Jody guessed, “I’m betting there was a complaint?”
Matt laughed shortly. “You betcha. He was up on the Shoshone ancestral land. They didn’t take kindly to some stranger poking around, asking questions and hinting at putting up a resort, especially after last year.”
“What happened last year?” Jody asked.
“A lumber company tried to get the rights to the land so they could log all the timber out, but Running Fox proved that the land was the Shoshone ancient burial ground, and was able to lock them out. He’s pretty protective of it.”
“I can imagine. Who is Running Fox?” Jody said.
“He’s a longtime friend of my dad’s, and of Frank. Actually, it’s kinda a crazy story. Running Fox, his grandson Jamie, my brother Cody, all got mixed up in a bit of a mess. A lot of stuff went down, but at the end of the day they were able to locate the actual burial ground just as the lumber company was about to gain rights to the land.”
“Sounds like Cody may take after his big brother, if he’s constantly finding himself in crazy circumstances,” Jody said.
Matt huffed. “You don’t even know. Anyway, Running Fox doesn’t care much for the local PD, so he called over to the station looking for Frank. Their families have been close forever. Frank was out on a call at the time, so I went out to see what was going on.”
Leaning back in his chair, Jody smirked. “Let me guess, sparks flew.”
“Sort of.” Matt paused, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Let’s just say Jonathan and I didn’t get along, not at first.”
“Sounds a little familiar,” Jody remarked, stretching out in his chair and lacing his fingers together over his belly.
Matt’s smile widened. “Maybe.” He paused for a second. “I escorted Jonathan off the property, him complaining the whole time. All the way back to the station he’s bitching nonstop, and then when I threatened to arrest him, he asked me out.”
“That sounds very familiar,” Jody said wryly. “He really went for it then?”
Matt gave him a smirk. “Yeah. I told him to fuck off, but he came back the next day, and asked again.”
“Persistent,” Jody said.
“You don’t know the half of it. I sorta admired his spirit. I thought Frank was going to drop kick him off the mountain at one point.”
“You must’ve seen something in him beyond being an asshole.”
Matt chuckled, leaning his elbows on the table and resting his hands there, palms down. His eyes swung back to the hawk. “I guess so. But you know, once you got past that annoying, hard ass front of his, he was really …something.”
This last was said quietly, and Jody felt a twist of unpleasantness in his gut. He kept his voice even as he said, “Can I ask what happened?”
Matt looked down, index finger drawing an aimless circle on the table. “At first everything was good, better than good, even. I’d never had a steady, boyfriend, I guess you’d say.” He looked up, mouth tilted in a crooked grin. “I mean, I’d fucked around, what guy hasn’t? But I’d never thought of myself as serious about another guy, until Jonathan.”
Jody took a fortifying breath, weighing his words carefully. “You’re young. There’s no reason you need to be serious with anyone, at least not until you’re sure of what you want.”
Silence. The moment stretched out between them. Suddenly it seemed as if they were having two different conversations, but then Matt smiled again, his gaze turning inward.
“Being with Jon taught me a lot. He was older than me, and I liked that. I liked that he taught me things about myself, drew things out of me that I’d only played around with, before. Things I needed, and liked doing. Things I liked doing for him.”
Matt stumbled to a halt, blush rising over his face, and with a flash of realization Jody understood that it was during his time with Jonathan that Matt had learned to hold back his orgasms. Jody’s mind wound back to their first night together, and how beautifully Matt had controlled himself, and had later displayed himself on the bed, arranged himself for Jody’s pleasure. It’d been the sexiest goddamned thing Jody had ever seen, and he recalled thinking that that type of composure had been learned behavior, suspecting that someone had given Matt some manner of instruction.
Someone older than him…
A stabbing feeling of utter wrongness raced through Jody at the thought of another man’s hands, or influence, on his boy, but his tone was gentle as he said, “Sounds like you learned a lot.”
Matt lifted his gaze to Jody’s. “Maybe. Despite everything, he really made me see things a lot clearer about the things I wanted from a relationship, and I think it’s made it easier for me, being with you. Because now I know exactly what I want, I know what I want to give to you. Does that make sense?”
Jody nodded, a wave of warmth welling inside him. Straightening, leaning forward in his chair he reached out, slid his hand across the table to tangle his fingers with Matt’s next to the green hawk.
“It does, angel.”
Matt’s fingers curled around his, and Jody felt the shade of wrongness that had been cast inside him fall away.
“Good,” Matt said firmly after a few seconds.
My beautiful boy.
The moment stretched out, and an unspoken understanding seemed to flow between them. They were together. No memory of a former lover was going to damage what was happening between them.
“Anyway,” Matt said, exhaling, and Jody braced himself for the bad news he knew was coming.
“Things were really good, for a while, but then he started getting real secretive. I can’t really explain it better than that. Jonathan was never what I’d call an open book, right? But he just seemed to shut down, even when we were –when we were, together; it was like he was shutting me out.”
“The more I pushed him to tell me what was wrong, the worse it got, and the more controlling he became. It got to the point where he was talking about me quitting the rangers, and coming abroad with him. He kept talking about traveling the world together, and leaving all our problems behind.”
“I don’t think it works that way,” Jody said evenly. “And I can’t imagine asking you to give up your career. It means too much to you.”
Matt nodded. “I know. I think, and this is going to sound crazy, but I think something scared him. I couldn’t get him to talk to me, though. He just wouldn’t. And when I wouldn’t let it go, he got more and more controlling, like that was going to solve anything.”
“Matt,” Jody hesitated, searching for right words. “Jonathan never hurt you, did he?”
For a moment Matt looked confused, then his eyes widened. “No. No. Not like that. He never physically abused me.”
Jody let out the breath he’d been holding, relieved, but there were more than one kind of abuse, and he said as much.
“Baby, he didn’t have to beat you to abuse you.”
Tilting his head, Matt assured Jody, “I know. I’ve seen abuse, and yeah, you could say there was emotional manipulation, but it wasn’t anything that I wasn’t aware of, and when it got to be too much, I called him out on it. That’s why there at the end we were fighting all the time.”
Not liking Matt’s explanation, but willing to accept it, Jody said deadpan, “Good. Otherwise I was about to track this guy down.”
Matt brushed his thumb over Jody’s knuckles. “It’s fine. I’m fine. No covert ops needed, babe.”
Jody grinned, a sharp-edged expression. “We’ll see.”
Matt smirked. “Okay, but keep in mind, I don’t know how much bail money I can come up with on short notice.”
Jody’s smiled deepened, tipped into something more serious. “Oh, I wouldn’t get caught, baby.”
Jody held Matt’s gaze as his meaning hit. After a couple seconds Matt leaned forward in his chair, over the table, over the hawk. Jody rose slightly in his chair to meet him. Their lips brushed together, once, twice, a gentle meeting before Matt opened to him. Jody slid his tongue inside, groaning hungrily into Matt’s mouth as he savored his lover’s warmth, his sweetness.
At length, Jody pulled back, remembering Dr. Parker’s instructions… calm, and quiet … no strenuous activity.
Licking his lips, a deep hunger rising inside him that he needed both hands to get hold of to control, it was a near thing that he didn’t sling Matt over his shoulder and carry him back to bed.
“So what happened?” he asked, getting them back on track, ignoring the slight huskiness of his voice.
Matt, his mouth red and wet, looked a little dazed before he blinked and refocused. “Oh. Um. Right.”
Jody grinned as he waited.
Matt exhaled. “I came home one day, and he was gone. He’d packed up while I was at work, and took off. This hawk, and his set of house keys, were all that he left.”
The fucking coward.
Matt shrugged. “I haven’t spoken to him since, so, I guess he decided I wasn’t worth whatever he was going through.”
“If that’s true then he’s a damn fool. You’re worth everything,” Jody said immediately, pouring his conviction into his tone, and intent gaze.
Matt smiled, an enticing curl of his mouth, and it warmed Jody from the inside out. He gave Jody a long, searching look, and said, “Ditto.”
Jody leaned in, wanting another kiss, wanting a return to Matt’s warmth, and sweetness, and pushing the hawk aside, Matt met him halfway.
****Additional Notes****
Still trying to get back on a regular weekend posting schedule, but for now it's just random! Why can't life understand I have fic to write?
Finally managed to fill Jody in on Matt's ex, and had a look at the jade hawk, which is important for reasons we won't discuss at the moment. *cue mysterious music* I went back watched the ep Scared Ground since I meant to refer briefly back to this ep. For some reason I thought that Running Fox was related to Frank, but a faithful reader corrected me on this. ;-D And I also remember this as being a 'Frank' ep, but it really wasn't, he didn't have too much to do. I think it would've been cool if he could've taken over all of Jesse's scenes, but hey, this was a Robert Conrad vehicle so I get it. The more I revisit the HMR eps, I'm liking Frank more and more, and if Jody wasn't already on the scene, well....
In Scared Ground I didn't hear Running Fox's tribe addressed specifically, as far as I can recall, and it was only Matt mentioning that he'd gathered up Shoshone maps to help with the burial site search that gave a clue as to what tribe they were all talking about, so I'm assuming the burial ground and Running Fox belong to the Shoshone. If anyone knows different do correct me! I did listen to some of the ep while in the car so maybe I totally missed something.
The sea-jade is a totally made up thing, though there are things referred to as 'sea jade' or more typically 'ocean jade'. Sea-jade is just how it came to me in my imagination and my brain wouldn't accept anything else... mainly it's just supposed to be pretty, and expensive, and rare, and match Matt's eyes. I've referred to them as being sea-green, and in my mind is a lovely sort of clear light green with a hint of blue. It's difficult to tell from Christian Conrad's pics, (for years I thought he had blue eyes!) but that's what I've landed on, and besides, it sounds romantic to me, :D If you google sea-green eyes you'll get some interesting examples.
Also, it goes without saying that at some point Matt's pantry is totally going to be reorganized. Ah, enough rambling, as always, share your thoughts/feedback in the comments!
fade/out
no subject
Date: 2022-10-06 07:47 am (UTC)If Jody finds Matt's pantry disturbing, he'd get nightmares from mine. It's complete chaos.
Btw, you should check the chapter numbers. You've got two chapters 11.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-06 07:54 am (UTC)Plot bunnies are loose!
Date: 2022-10-07 05:18 pm (UTC)Re: Plot bunnies are loose!
Date: 2022-10-08 08:54 pm (UTC)Obsessively checking in…
Date: 2022-10-12 03:08 am (UTC)Re: Obsessively checking in…
Date: 2022-10-12 10:32 pm (UTC)Next up we'll have Matt, his trick knee and his hunky man (of course). The muse is poking me pretty hard to get to the next chapter, so hopefully soon I can roll it out and you can see where Matt tells Jody---opps! Gotta end it here before I say too much! *poof*
I totally do!!
Date: 2022-10-14 07:48 pm (UTC)1- it’s very grounded in reality in this case given the issues Christian Conrad had with his knee throughout the short life of the show (and then through Jesse Hawkes, though it was clearly more healed by then) and
2- you are *really* good at writing it in a way that evokes that realism and the way it was approached in the show (i.e., my knee is jacked, it hurts to do stuff, I do it anyway and just limp sometimes but I still get it done). and I love and appreciate that!
Re: I totally do!!
Date: 2022-10-15 10:08 am (UTC)What exactly was wrong with his knee?
Re: I totally do!!
Date: 2022-10-15 01:52 pm (UTC)There was a fic writer named Kris back in the 2000s who had a whole universes built around this backstory —- Matt blowing out his knee in college playing football and again in the Washout ep, and it troubling him off and on throughout her story lines, which were rich and fantastic.
Re: I totally do!!
Date: 2022-10-15 05:07 pm (UTC)Re: I totally do!!
Date: 2022-10-15 08:25 pm (UTC)Re: I totally do!!
Date: 2022-10-16 09:54 am (UTC)Re: I totally do!!
Date: 2022-10-16 02:39 pm (UTC)Re: I totally do!!
Date: 2022-10-16 06:16 pm (UTC)Luckily some fics I was able to locate on still existing archives, and others I found on A03. It didn't help that my laptop was stolen a couple years ago so I lost ALL my bookmarks I'd spent years accumulating.
Have you tried the waybackmachine? I admit, it's been so long since I've used that I don't remember how it works, but I know sometimes you can find archived copies of things on that.
Re: I totally do!!
Date: 2022-10-16 06:23 pm (UTC)I know I used to read fics by someone with Ranger in their name, I just can't quit place it. If they wrote in more than one fandom maybe they've posted some of their stuff on A03, but just haven't post their HMR stuff? If you're like me I'm sure you've already searched A03, so I'm just spitballing. Like in my case, I have a ton of stuff on my journal here, that I just haven't moved over to A03.
In some cases fic are taken down because the author went professional, and needed to scrub their fanfic from the internet for some reason. I think that's what happened with the fic I was looking for. Sometimes authors move on to other fandoms and change their pen name. Eh, I know that's not helpful.
Ah! I know its frustrating to be looking for a fic and can't find it! :(
Re: I totally do!!
Date: 2022-10-16 06:08 pm (UTC)I think after I sort of moved from LOTR, the next biggest fandom was Hawaii 5-0, the CBS reboot. I think that fanbase is still active, but again, there's no community other than what you get on A03 that I know of.
Re: I totally do!!
Date: 2022-10-16 06:01 pm (UTC)I love hearing these tidbits about Christian, etc. It really informs my writing, and helps to add to my imagination!