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archetTitle: Angels Ain’t Easy
Author: Archet
Pairing: OMC Jody McKinnon/Matt Hawkes
Fandom: High Mountain Rangers
Summary: a story of falling in love, figuring things out and just holding on.
Disclaimer: I did not create the High Mountain Ranger character/s, only this fic and the Original Male Character, Jody McKinnon, and any other original characters in supporting roles. No copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: this fic is set in 1989, approximately a year and a half after the events of the final episode of High Mountain Rangers. There will be no acknowledgment of the events of the spin-off show Jesse Hawkes.
Note: this fic takes place a little over four months after Bad Luck, Bad Guys and High Mountain Rangers and is a sequel to that fic, so reading that first is recommended.
Additional: this fic will depict same sex relationships. If this ain’t your thing, venture no further.
Warnings this chapter: none
Summary this chapter: a concussed Matt endures needling, cryptic jokes and living in the Twilight Zone, and is reminded that even rangers need taking care of sometimes.
****Additional notes at end of chapter****
~*~
Chapter 11: The Care and Feeding of Hawkes
Once safely back at the station, Matt made it barely a half hour before he began losing the battle with the building pressure in his head. He’d taken a quick shower, changed into a spare set of clean clothes and was fielding one of several reports coming in over the short wave radio when he abruptly had to sit down in the chair by the desk. He finished up taking the report and signed off, rubbing the back of his neck and frowning.
Matt knew he had a visit to the hospital in his very near future. He wasn’t reckless enough to blow off a possible concussion, but he’d hoped he could put it off until a bit later in the night. Now that the rain had finally slowed, hopefully the mountain would have a chance to shed the lion’s share of precipitation that had come down the past couple days. Unfortunately, down below, South Lake Tahoe was seeing some flooding, though the larger, more immediate danger were a few washouts of several roadways. Crews were already out assessing the damage, but some roads were going to be impassable for what would likely be weeks.
Without looking up from the report, Matt scribbled an additional few notes, releasing a long breath. Jody was waiting for him, had tucked himself unobtrusively in the corner of the room by the fireplace… or as unobtrusively as a man of his stature could be. Matt could feel the man’s dark gaze on him, and he was confronted with the sudden notion that there was nothing he’d like better than to get up, cross the crowded room, and let Jody enfold him in those strong arms of his. The intensity of the realization surprised him, perhaps, even worried him.
He and Jody were still so new, and Matt hadn’t anticipated this, the reality of having someone to lean on if he needed to. The thing was, he felt pretty damned comfortable with the idea, and there came a warning sneaking in behind that ease. Maybe he was more comfortable than was wise, with a man he’d only just let into his life. But Jody exuded a steadiness, a dependability that was uniquely attractive, and that Matt simply trusted.
Things between them had happened so naturally, but in Matt’s experience nothing was ever so easy. While he trusted his instincts, his analytical side was poking at his confidence, looking for holes. That his mind chose this moment to spin all these thoughts up was about par for the course.
Matt shook his head, shaking off his desultory thoughts. It’d been a long few days, his head hurt, and he wanted his lover, but now was not the time for self-reflection, or musings over his own wants and needs. Now, he had a job to do, and his thoughts were all over the place. He had the keen impression that a silent countdown had begun the moment he stepped into the station, and that everyone in the room was monitoring it. He’d noticed it in the concerned looks he was getting from his team when they thought he wasn’t paying attention, and in the way their gazes inevitably swung between himself and Jody.
It’d be funny if wasn’t so annoying. Matt knew his limits. He’d worked too hard to be taken seriously to damage his standing by being an idiot. Having his father as the founding member of the High Mountain Rangers, and his youth, had at times been obstacles to overcome. He’d heard the whispers questioning his abilities, his merit. He’d heard the rumors, and sometimes outright accusations, that he’d only advanced as far as he had, and so quickly, was solely because of who his father was. Matt had always let his actions speak for themselves, learning to tune out the noise. He had his team, who had been nothing but supportive and faithful, and now, it seemed, he had Jody.
Tim entered the common room, a towel draped around his neck from his shower, and Matt waved him over. He quickly went over the details he’d taken down. Listening intently, Tim quickly took it all in, and then offered his own input, and together they drew up a plan of action that’d see them through the next several hours, and that omitted Matt’s presence. It galled him to do it, but with each passing minute it was becoming clearer to him that he’d be out of commission for a bit.
“I got it,” Tm said, looking over Matt’s notes and nodding.
“And make sure someone checks on Ms. Merriweather,” Matt added.
Tim nodded again. “Will do.”
Looking around the room, Matt asked, “Where’s Jim? I want him to coordinate with Sherriff McBride.”
Tim started to speak, paused, and then said evenly, “He’s already on it. You spoke to him before you took a shower, remember?”
“Oh, okay,” Matt said, fiddling with the curled cord that attached the handheld unit to the radio.
Now that he thought about it, he did recall talking to Jim. The memory was a little hazy, now, but Jim knew his business, and so Matt felt satisfied. He frowned, realizing he may be a little closer to his ‘limit’ than he’d previously thought.
“You know,” Tim began, leaning against the edge of the desk. “Your guy is about three minutes from slinging you over his shoulder and hauling you the heck outta here.”
Matt laughed shortly, immediately regretting it when the pressure in his head escalated into a dull throb. “Is it that obvious?”
Tim leaned back, a small smile on his lips. “Pretty much. And to tell you the truth, I wouldn’t blame him.”
Matt’s eyes widened. “Oh, really? Maybe I should remind everyone I’m not exactly a probie. I know my limits.”
Tim snorted. “Oh, everyone knows you do, believe me. But do you have to be so bull headed about it? You don’t have to push yourself to your limit, is all I’m saying. Go on and get out of here. We’re on the back side of this thing, we got this, Matt.”
Matt opened his mouth to reply, but another voice interrupted him.
“So when you gonna go to the ER? I’m tired of McKinnon’s ominous hovering.”
Matt looked up at Frank Avila. After Tim, Frank was third in command of the rangers, along with being their crack helicopter pilot. He had his thick black hair pushed back behind a folded red and black patterned bandanna tied around his forehead. Penetrating brown eyes fixed on Matt expectantly.
A couple years older than Matt, Frank exuded a surety of self and trustworthiness that were attractive and undeniably valuable traits in a ranger. Frank’s steadiness had saved lives more than once. Hell, Frank had saved Matt’s life, more than once.
For the first time, it struck Matt that Frank and Jody shared a lot in common.
“Ominous hovering?” Matt asked skeptically.
Frank shrugged. “Forgive the pun, but he’s watching you like a hawk.”
“Okay,” Matt said slowly, restraining from rolling his eyes by the barest margin as Frank tilted his head and smirked down at him. “I’ll go here in a bit. We’re just wrapping up a few things.”
“Sure you are,” Frank remarked dryly, and crossing his arms over his chest, leveled a knowing look down at Matt.
“Look, I said I’m going, okay?” Matt countered, and if it came out sounding a bit petulant, he’d blame the pressure in his head that was quickly becoming difficult to ignore.
“Right,” Frank drawled. He tipped his head slightly in Jody’s direction. “Should I go tell GI Joe that?”
Matt sighed. “Do not let him hear you call him that.”
Frank’s dark brows lifted and he shrugged again, but made no further comment.
Willing to throw in the towel if it meant his team would stop needling him, Matt pushed up to his feet. The station swam before him, and he laid a hand against the desk. He swallowed, pressing his lips together as the queasy sensation passed. Frank uncrossed his arms, expression tense, and Tim stood up a little straighter, but neither man seemed willing to call Matt out, but instead allowed him a further moment to steady himself.
Jody appeared at his side, hooded eyes intent, lips pressed into a flat line. “You ready?”
Matt sighed, accepting his fate as he looked up into Jody’s eyes. “Yeah,” he said after a beat, spreading his hands out in front of him in defeat. Jody took a step aside, waiting expectantly.
Matt hid a grin despite another woozy roll in his stomach. He swung back around to Tim.
“Don’t forget Ms. Merriweather.”
Tim sighed, waving Matt away. “I’ll send Izzy over there in a few. Now, get your ass out of here.”
“Do I need to put you in the basket and run you over there?” Frank put in, a teasing glint in his eyes despite the tension in his stance.
Matt wrinkled his nose. The ‘basket’ was just that, a wire frame large enough to accommodate a single adult, and could be strapped to the side of the station’s helicopter or lifted from below on a line. Matt had made a trip or two in the basket, and loathed the thing.
“Of course not,” he sniped back, feeling nauseous just thinking about it.
Frank grinned. “Well, giddy up, then.”
This time Matt did roll his eyes, and as he stepped away from the desk felt he felt the gentle press of Jody’ s hand at the small of his back, guiding him toward the exit. Something in him settled, evened out. It was too easy, but it was what he needed.
“I’m going, I’m going,” he said, exasperated, but didn’t shrug off Jody’s hand.
Robin met them halfway to the door. Her long blonde hair was pulled back into a thick braid at the base of her neck that looked in danger of escaping its tie. A fully trained field medic, she, out of everyone, knew the full extent of what a concussion could mean. Her bright blue eyes caught Matt’s.
“I called ahead. Dr. Parker is on duty tonight, so he’s expecting you.”
Matt tipped his head in acknowledgment, and resignation. “Thanks, Rob.”
Robin smiled at the nickname, and looked up as Jody asked, “Dr. Parker?”
Robin nodded. “Dr. Parker has dealt with Matt before.”
There seemed to commence a silent exchange of information between Robin and Jody that Matt didn’t fully comprehend.
Jody said, “Ah,” as if everything had been clearly explained in that one, brief communication.
Robin handed Jody a set of keys. “Take the Blazer parked out by the equipment shed. And make sure they check his knee. He hasn’t admitted it, but he twisted it pretty good.”
Matt sighed as Jody swung around, pinning him with an assessing look.
“I’m standing right here, you know,” he complained.
Robin patted his arm. “We know. It’s okay.”
Matt frowned, and Robin and Jody shared another cryptic look. Not finding either of them very entertaining Matt groused, “Can we go?”
Jody shook the keys on its ring. “Waitin’ on you, boss.”
Matt started for the double doors, grumbling under his breath with Jody quietly amused at his back. It wasn’t until they were outside, at the top of the steps that he remembered his dad. Leaning against the railing, Jesse turned and regarded them both as they exited the station.
“Finally ready to go get checked out, son?”
A sense of inevitably settling over him, Matt nodded. “Yeah, dad. You wanna come along?”
Jesse pushed away from the railing. “Sure. Someone’s going to need to make sure that hard head of yours hasn’t finally cracked.”
Matt sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m sure everything’s fine.”
Annoyed by the knowing look passing between Jody and his father, Matt started down the steps, leaving the two to share notes with one another however they pleased. It was beginning to rankle a bit, everyone knowing better than himself on how to handle his condition. Not that he had a ‘condition’.
Christ, it was just a bump on the head and a sore knee.
Locating the Blazer parked next to the equipment shed, Matt climbed into the unlocked vehicle and stretched out as best he couple in the back, tipping his head back to rest against the seat. A few seconds later Jody slipped in behind the wheel, with his father taking the front passenger seat. Matt ducked his head and chuckled to himself at the sudden mental image of his dad and Jody arm wrestling to determine who got to drive.
“You all right, son?”
Matt looked up to find Jesse twisted around in his seat, and studying him closely.
“I’m fine,” he said lightly. “Why?”
Jesse’s lips pressed into a flat line, and he turned back around without comment after giving Matt another long, assessing look.
In the reflection of the Blazer’s interior rear view mirror, Matt saw that Jody was watching him too, his eyes narrowed slightly. Matt shrugged at him. Slouching down in his seat, Matt snapped his seat beat closed and settled in for the ride to the hospital.
The trip proved blessedly uneventful, and Jody maneuvered the Blazer over half flooded roads skillfully, exchanging a few words with Jesse, who offered directions to the quickest route. As promised, Dr. Parker was waiting for Matt, and ushered him into a room as soon as they arrived with only a curious glance at Jody, and a nod to Jesse. Matt winced as he sat down on the examination table, the ache in his head and twinge in his knee competing for his attention.
Jody and Jesse retreated to the waiting area, and Matt spent a few surreal moments absorbing the fact that his lover and his dad were, at that moment, either engaging in an epically awkward conversation, or studiously ignoring one another.
The next couple hours passed as they usually did in the hospital, uncomfortably, as he was poked, prodded, and scanned. Eventually Jody and Jesse were called in from the waiting room as the doctor shared his findings which consisted of a slight concussion, and a strained knee. As far as the concussion went the doctor was willing to release Matt to go home to rest and recover, on the condition that someone would be able to check on him every few hours.
At his side, Jody volunteered to be the one to do the checking, and his while his dad pursed his lips, he remained silent. Matt zoned out for a bit as they discussed bed rest, and the avoidance of any stimulating activities. So, no watching tv, or even reading.
And definitely no sex. Fuck.
Matt frowned. Had Dr. Parker actually said no sex, or just inferred it? Maybe it was more a guideline than a rule. He looked up with curiosity, and watched Jody and the doctor continuing their conversation, Jody nodding here and there.
Matt’s thoughts drifted again. It wasn’t until someone mentioned ‘knee’ and ‘therapy’ that lassoed his attention back around. He refocused to find Jody, Dr. Parker and his dad watching him expectantly.
This is so weird.
Matt searched his memory, but didn’t recall being asked a question.
“What?”
The three men shared a look, and Dr. Parker clarified. “I hear that you’ve been skipping your physical therapy sessions for your knee.”
Matt stared at the doctor as the words clicked in, finally making sense.
“Oh, yeah, that.”
Jody’s lips pressed together, his dad sighed, and Matt gritted his teeth as his headache intensified.
“Look, I’ve just been busy. I didn’t plan on canceling. It just kinda happened.”
“Well,” Dr. Parker began as he pulled out a prescription pad and pen from the pocket of his white lab coat and scribbled something on it. “I’ll expect you to reschedule those appointments. I’m sending you home on two days mandatory bed rest. You need calm, and quiet, and after that, if no further symptoms present, two weeks of light duty at work, Matt. That means no strenuous activity at work for two weeks.”
Matt bit back a groan. “I know what it means.”
“Do you?” Parker asked, brow lifting. He tore off the page from his pad and handed it to Jody, which was annoying for reasons Matt was unclear on.
“This is a prescription for pain,” Dr. Parker said, and then turned to Jody and Jesse. “And make certain that he’s checked on at least every eight hours. If he becomes markedly more confused, nauseous, has persistent pain in his head or problems with his balance, bring him back in.”
More confused?
“I’m not confused, I’m concussed” Matt blurted, then grinned.
No one else seemed to appreciate the joke.
Jezz. Tough room.
Jody folded the script and slipped it into his jeans pocket. “Don’t worry. I’ll keep an eye on him. I’ve dealt with concussions before; I know what to look for.”
Matt piped up. “I know what to look for too, you know. Dr. Parker knows. Remember that time I wiped out on Spy Glass? Christ, that was crazy.”
Again, the doctor, Jody and his dad shared a look. Matt bristled, somehow suspecting he’d become the butt of a joke he hadn’t been let in on. He folded his arms over his chest, scowling at all of them equally.
Dr. Parker seemed satisfied despite Matt’s displeasure. “Matt, I’m sending you home with Mr. McKinnon. He has the prescription for you. I expect you to use it.”
Matt nodded, getting stuck on ‘sending you home with Mr. McKinnon’.
That sounded nice. More than nice. He looked at Jody. “We’re going home?”
Jody smiled, and stepping close, kissed Matt’s brow. “Yep. We are.”
Matt wondered what Dr. Parker and his dad thought of this, but when Jody stepped back he realized that both men had gone. Matt looked around the cramped room. “Where’d they go?”
Jody smiled again, and slipping a hand under Matt’s elbow, helped him slip off the examination table. “The doc left to tend to his other patients. Your dad is waiting outside, you just didn’t notice them leaving. I think it’s time to get you home and in bed.”
Matt didn’t feel like arguing, especially with the way those words sounded coming out of Jody’s mouth.
No strenuous activity, though. Fuck.
They found Jesse waiting just outside the ER entrance, gazing up at the dark skies. Matt wondered briefly what he was looking for. Jesse turned to greet them as they approached.
“You all finished up?”
“Yeah, I guess. Need a ride, dad?”
Jesse shook his head. “No, son. Cody and I are staying over with your mom. I’ll head back over there. I think we’ll be staying a few days, just in case.”
Matt peered at his father, unsure what ‘just in case’ meant, then giving up, added for Jody’s benefit. “Mom’s place is only a couple blocks away. She lives in a townhome over on the east side.”
“Jody.” Jesse held out his hand and Matt watched as Jody grasped it. “Call me and let me know you made it home safely with him. You have the number.”
Jody promised that he would, and they shook on it. Matt stuck his hands in his jacket pockets and accepted that he now lived in the Twilight Zone where his boyfriend had his mom’s phone number and was promising to call and talk to his dad. Jesse released Jody’s hand, and turning to Matt tilted his head, regarding him closely.
“Call your mother in the morning,” Jesse said, then with a pointed glance at Jody, turned and stepped off the curb and started across the parking lot.
“Night, dad,” Matt called out, watching him go.
“Goodnight, son,” Jesse replied, lifting a hand as he strode away.
After a moment, Jody said, “Your dad is interesting.”
Matt snorted. “Sure. You say that now. Just wait.”
The ride home passed uneventfully. The rain started back up, but only very thinly, barely a sprinkle as they stepped up to his cabin’s front door. From someplace Jody pulled out a key and slotted it into the lock. Matt remembered with a start that he’d given Jody the key after their date, a few days prior. How had he forgotten that? He smiled, recalling the sweetness, and the heat, and all the beautiful things that had passed between them during that time.
“What are you smiling at?” Jody asked as he guided Matt inside, closing and locking the door behind them.
Matt shrugged and looked away, strangely reluctant to admit to what he’d been thinking about.
“Nothing.”
He wasn’t sure how to explain that he’d smiled because of the memory of morning sunlight on Jody’s skin, or coffee flavored kisses shared on his back porch.
“When’s the last time you had something to eat?”
Lost in thought, Matt startled slightly as warm fingers curled under his chin, lifting his head.
“You with me baby? When did you last eat?”
Liking the feel of Jody’s fingers, Matt smiled again. His head hurt, his knee hurt, but Jody was here, so everything was okay. That thought struck through him, a sharp reverb amplified the more he thought about it. When had that happened?
When did being with Jody become equal to being okay?
“Um… I dunno. Lunch, maybe? Or breakfast this morning?”
“All right. How about you sit down and I’ll get you something? You need to take your meds with food.”
Matt nodded, happy to get off his feet. He collapsed into one the chairs at the kitchen table, and watched Jody delve into his refrigerator. After a minute, he let his eyes drift shut, and just listened to the sound of Jody moving around and murmuring about soups or sandwiches, and did they have any tomatoes?
You say tomato, I say tomato.
“Hey.”
Matt opened his eyes. A glass of milk and a plate of food sat before him, a thick sandwich stacked with cold cuts, cheese and what appeared to be lettuce and tomato.
“So we did have tomatoes.” Matt commented.
Watching him with a gentle upward curve to his mouth, Jody pushed the plate closer Matt’s way.
“Eat up. And take these,” Jody said, shaking two white pills out from an orange plastic pill bottle.
Palming the pills, Matt downed them with a swig of milk, only realizing afterwards that he had no memory of them stopping on the way back to the cabin to fill the prescription, but they must have. He tucked eagerly into his sandwich, and Jody did the same with one of his own. After a while Jody stood up from the table, and disappeared down the hall.
“Hey, did you call my dad?” Matt called out between bites when Jody didn’t immediately return, and once again was hit with the sensation of how bizarre that sounded.
“Yeah, a while ago,” Jody answered, and Matt paused in lifting his sandwich. He didn’t remember that either, but then it seemed he was having trouble focusing.
Matt finished his meal and sat back, looking back down the hallway at the sound of running water.
The hallway light was on, a soft glow that spilled into the bathroom doorway. Standing, he followed the sound of the water into the bathroom, and found Jody in the half-light, sitting on the edge of the tub, one hand held under the faucet, testing the temperature of the water streaming out. The bathroom’s overhead light was off, but the borrowed brightness from the hallway lent enough of a glow that Matt could see well enough. Jody looked up as he stepped over the threshold.
“What are you doing?”
Jody smiled. “Drawing you a bath, genius. What’s it look like?”
Matt blinked, studying the man before him. So handsome, so strong and reassuring. Sexy as fuck, too, but that went without saying.
“But you don’t--” Matt broke off, unsure suddenly, of what he needed to say.
Jody pulled his hand from the water, and twisting the brushed nickel knob, shut off the tap. The tub was mostly full, wisps of steam rising pleasingly from the rippling water. Jody straightened, drying his fingers on his pants leg. At some point he’d taken off his jacket, and the light grey sweater he wore looked soft and warm and clung beautifully along the lines of muscle of his chest and arms.
“I don’t what?”
“This,” and Matt waved a hand toward the tub, groping for the proper word to label just what it was Jody was doing. “You don’t have to… do all this.”
Jody stilled, and after studying Matt intently for a moment tilted his head. “I know it, but I want to.”
Matt absorbed this as Jody continued to watch him.
“Will you let me take care of you, baby?”
The question seemed unreasonably complex and Matt’s heartbeat ticked up in rhythm as he fumbled for a proper reply. His conflict must have shown on his face as Jody was moving suddenly. For a guy his size, he could damn well move quickly. Stepping in close, Jody lifted his hands, carefully framing Matt’s face.
“You’re not used to being the one being taken care of, are you?”
Matt’s brow furrowed. He blinked. Everything suddenly felt horribly, stupidly complicated and he didn’t like it. His tongue felt thick and frustratingly useless.
“Shhh,” Jody soothed, kissing his temple, and the tip of his nose. “It’s okay. It’s the concussion. It’s making you feel off balance, I think.”
Matt nodded, relieved, willing to accept the explanation, an encompassing warmth stealing over him as Jody gentled a kiss to his mouth.
“Let’s get you into the tub, okay?” Jody asked softly.
Matt nodded, liking that idea and stood compliant as Jody began removing his clothes. It was done gently, Jody’s touch unprovocative and efficient, and soon Matt was naked. With Jody’s hand under his elbow, he stepped over the side of the tub, sinking blissfully down into the heated water. Leaning back, Matt let his head rest against the lip of the tub, and sighed as the warmth permeated him.
Careful fingers carded through his hair, smoothing it back from his temple. Already his eyes were drooping. He was suddenly very, very tired.
“Just relax, angel. Let me handle things tonight, all right?” Jody asked quietly.
Enjoying the fingers moving slowly in his hair Matt nodded, settling on the simplest, easiest reply he could think of.
“Okay.”
****Additional Notes****
Yall, I can't even with this chapter. Most of it was written by Sunday (and damn but I missed my weekly update!) but I just couldn't stop tinkering with it, and each time I was ready to post, I realized I'd forgotten something that needed addressing. This whole chapter began with the image of Jody holding a concussed, confused Matt, and telling him "You're not used to being taken care of, are you?" Everything else was built around that idea, and in my world, Matt has taken on a lot of responsibility from a young age. He's been taught to be self-reliant and I think somewhere along the way, forgot what it was really like to have someone take care of him.
I've never had a concussion, thankfully, so I did play that up perhaps more than it normally might be. I hope that came across, that Matt was in turns unfocused, confused and a tad more emotional than normal.
I loved getting the rest of gang in this time (sorry Jim! He had a moment last chapter, and will be around again I'm sure) especially Frank, and for reasons that shall remain untold for the moment, :-D. I'm seeing my Frank as a rather calm but intense guy, much like Mr. McKinnon.
If anyone can clue me in! I'm describing Frank with black hair and brown eyes. I did some googling but even in pics it's hard to tell if his hair was really straight black, or dark, dark brown? And his eyes look dark, so I just went with brown. It's my fic so I can do whatever, but I tend to obsess over these things. I wish we had the show on dvd or something where I could see things clearly!
Anywho, as always, share feedback/thoughts/rambles in the comments as desired!
Author: Archet
Pairing: OMC Jody McKinnon/Matt Hawkes
Fandom: High Mountain Rangers
Summary: a story of falling in love, figuring things out and just holding on.
Disclaimer: I did not create the High Mountain Ranger character/s, only this fic and the Original Male Character, Jody McKinnon, and any other original characters in supporting roles. No copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: this fic is set in 1989, approximately a year and a half after the events of the final episode of High Mountain Rangers. There will be no acknowledgment of the events of the spin-off show Jesse Hawkes.
Note: this fic takes place a little over four months after Bad Luck, Bad Guys and High Mountain Rangers and is a sequel to that fic, so reading that first is recommended.
Additional: this fic will depict same sex relationships. If this ain’t your thing, venture no further.
Warnings this chapter: none
Summary this chapter: a concussed Matt endures needling, cryptic jokes and living in the Twilight Zone, and is reminded that even rangers need taking care of sometimes.
****Additional notes at end of chapter****
~*~
Chapter 11: The Care and Feeding of Hawkes
Once safely back at the station, Matt made it barely a half hour before he began losing the battle with the building pressure in his head. He’d taken a quick shower, changed into a spare set of clean clothes and was fielding one of several reports coming in over the short wave radio when he abruptly had to sit down in the chair by the desk. He finished up taking the report and signed off, rubbing the back of his neck and frowning.
Matt knew he had a visit to the hospital in his very near future. He wasn’t reckless enough to blow off a possible concussion, but he’d hoped he could put it off until a bit later in the night. Now that the rain had finally slowed, hopefully the mountain would have a chance to shed the lion’s share of precipitation that had come down the past couple days. Unfortunately, down below, South Lake Tahoe was seeing some flooding, though the larger, more immediate danger were a few washouts of several roadways. Crews were already out assessing the damage, but some roads were going to be impassable for what would likely be weeks.
Without looking up from the report, Matt scribbled an additional few notes, releasing a long breath. Jody was waiting for him, had tucked himself unobtrusively in the corner of the room by the fireplace… or as unobtrusively as a man of his stature could be. Matt could feel the man’s dark gaze on him, and he was confronted with the sudden notion that there was nothing he’d like better than to get up, cross the crowded room, and let Jody enfold him in those strong arms of his. The intensity of the realization surprised him, perhaps, even worried him.
He and Jody were still so new, and Matt hadn’t anticipated this, the reality of having someone to lean on if he needed to. The thing was, he felt pretty damned comfortable with the idea, and there came a warning sneaking in behind that ease. Maybe he was more comfortable than was wise, with a man he’d only just let into his life. But Jody exuded a steadiness, a dependability that was uniquely attractive, and that Matt simply trusted.
Things between them had happened so naturally, but in Matt’s experience nothing was ever so easy. While he trusted his instincts, his analytical side was poking at his confidence, looking for holes. That his mind chose this moment to spin all these thoughts up was about par for the course.
Matt shook his head, shaking off his desultory thoughts. It’d been a long few days, his head hurt, and he wanted his lover, but now was not the time for self-reflection, or musings over his own wants and needs. Now, he had a job to do, and his thoughts were all over the place. He had the keen impression that a silent countdown had begun the moment he stepped into the station, and that everyone in the room was monitoring it. He’d noticed it in the concerned looks he was getting from his team when they thought he wasn’t paying attention, and in the way their gazes inevitably swung between himself and Jody.
It’d be funny if wasn’t so annoying. Matt knew his limits. He’d worked too hard to be taken seriously to damage his standing by being an idiot. Having his father as the founding member of the High Mountain Rangers, and his youth, had at times been obstacles to overcome. He’d heard the whispers questioning his abilities, his merit. He’d heard the rumors, and sometimes outright accusations, that he’d only advanced as far as he had, and so quickly, was solely because of who his father was. Matt had always let his actions speak for themselves, learning to tune out the noise. He had his team, who had been nothing but supportive and faithful, and now, it seemed, he had Jody.
Tim entered the common room, a towel draped around his neck from his shower, and Matt waved him over. He quickly went over the details he’d taken down. Listening intently, Tim quickly took it all in, and then offered his own input, and together they drew up a plan of action that’d see them through the next several hours, and that omitted Matt’s presence. It galled him to do it, but with each passing minute it was becoming clearer to him that he’d be out of commission for a bit.
“I got it,” Tm said, looking over Matt’s notes and nodding.
“And make sure someone checks on Ms. Merriweather,” Matt added.
Tim nodded again. “Will do.”
Looking around the room, Matt asked, “Where’s Jim? I want him to coordinate with Sherriff McBride.”
Tim started to speak, paused, and then said evenly, “He’s already on it. You spoke to him before you took a shower, remember?”
“Oh, okay,” Matt said, fiddling with the curled cord that attached the handheld unit to the radio.
Now that he thought about it, he did recall talking to Jim. The memory was a little hazy, now, but Jim knew his business, and so Matt felt satisfied. He frowned, realizing he may be a little closer to his ‘limit’ than he’d previously thought.
“You know,” Tim began, leaning against the edge of the desk. “Your guy is about three minutes from slinging you over his shoulder and hauling you the heck outta here.”
Matt laughed shortly, immediately regretting it when the pressure in his head escalated into a dull throb. “Is it that obvious?”
Tim leaned back, a small smile on his lips. “Pretty much. And to tell you the truth, I wouldn’t blame him.”
Matt’s eyes widened. “Oh, really? Maybe I should remind everyone I’m not exactly a probie. I know my limits.”
Tim snorted. “Oh, everyone knows you do, believe me. But do you have to be so bull headed about it? You don’t have to push yourself to your limit, is all I’m saying. Go on and get out of here. We’re on the back side of this thing, we got this, Matt.”
Matt opened his mouth to reply, but another voice interrupted him.
“So when you gonna go to the ER? I’m tired of McKinnon’s ominous hovering.”
Matt looked up at Frank Avila. After Tim, Frank was third in command of the rangers, along with being their crack helicopter pilot. He had his thick black hair pushed back behind a folded red and black patterned bandanna tied around his forehead. Penetrating brown eyes fixed on Matt expectantly.
A couple years older than Matt, Frank exuded a surety of self and trustworthiness that were attractive and undeniably valuable traits in a ranger. Frank’s steadiness had saved lives more than once. Hell, Frank had saved Matt’s life, more than once.
For the first time, it struck Matt that Frank and Jody shared a lot in common.
“Ominous hovering?” Matt asked skeptically.
Frank shrugged. “Forgive the pun, but he’s watching you like a hawk.”
“Okay,” Matt said slowly, restraining from rolling his eyes by the barest margin as Frank tilted his head and smirked down at him. “I’ll go here in a bit. We’re just wrapping up a few things.”
“Sure you are,” Frank remarked dryly, and crossing his arms over his chest, leveled a knowing look down at Matt.
“Look, I said I’m going, okay?” Matt countered, and if it came out sounding a bit petulant, he’d blame the pressure in his head that was quickly becoming difficult to ignore.
“Right,” Frank drawled. He tipped his head slightly in Jody’s direction. “Should I go tell GI Joe that?”
Matt sighed. “Do not let him hear you call him that.”
Frank’s dark brows lifted and he shrugged again, but made no further comment.
Willing to throw in the towel if it meant his team would stop needling him, Matt pushed up to his feet. The station swam before him, and he laid a hand against the desk. He swallowed, pressing his lips together as the queasy sensation passed. Frank uncrossed his arms, expression tense, and Tim stood up a little straighter, but neither man seemed willing to call Matt out, but instead allowed him a further moment to steady himself.
Jody appeared at his side, hooded eyes intent, lips pressed into a flat line. “You ready?”
Matt sighed, accepting his fate as he looked up into Jody’s eyes. “Yeah,” he said after a beat, spreading his hands out in front of him in defeat. Jody took a step aside, waiting expectantly.
Matt hid a grin despite another woozy roll in his stomach. He swung back around to Tim.
“Don’t forget Ms. Merriweather.”
Tim sighed, waving Matt away. “I’ll send Izzy over there in a few. Now, get your ass out of here.”
“Do I need to put you in the basket and run you over there?” Frank put in, a teasing glint in his eyes despite the tension in his stance.
Matt wrinkled his nose. The ‘basket’ was just that, a wire frame large enough to accommodate a single adult, and could be strapped to the side of the station’s helicopter or lifted from below on a line. Matt had made a trip or two in the basket, and loathed the thing.
“Of course not,” he sniped back, feeling nauseous just thinking about it.
Frank grinned. “Well, giddy up, then.”
This time Matt did roll his eyes, and as he stepped away from the desk felt he felt the gentle press of Jody’ s hand at the small of his back, guiding him toward the exit. Something in him settled, evened out. It was too easy, but it was what he needed.
“I’m going, I’m going,” he said, exasperated, but didn’t shrug off Jody’s hand.
Robin met them halfway to the door. Her long blonde hair was pulled back into a thick braid at the base of her neck that looked in danger of escaping its tie. A fully trained field medic, she, out of everyone, knew the full extent of what a concussion could mean. Her bright blue eyes caught Matt’s.
“I called ahead. Dr. Parker is on duty tonight, so he’s expecting you.”
Matt tipped his head in acknowledgment, and resignation. “Thanks, Rob.”
Robin smiled at the nickname, and looked up as Jody asked, “Dr. Parker?”
Robin nodded. “Dr. Parker has dealt with Matt before.”
There seemed to commence a silent exchange of information between Robin and Jody that Matt didn’t fully comprehend.
Jody said, “Ah,” as if everything had been clearly explained in that one, brief communication.
Robin handed Jody a set of keys. “Take the Blazer parked out by the equipment shed. And make sure they check his knee. He hasn’t admitted it, but he twisted it pretty good.”
Matt sighed as Jody swung around, pinning him with an assessing look.
“I’m standing right here, you know,” he complained.
Robin patted his arm. “We know. It’s okay.”
Matt frowned, and Robin and Jody shared another cryptic look. Not finding either of them very entertaining Matt groused, “Can we go?”
Jody shook the keys on its ring. “Waitin’ on you, boss.”
Matt started for the double doors, grumbling under his breath with Jody quietly amused at his back. It wasn’t until they were outside, at the top of the steps that he remembered his dad. Leaning against the railing, Jesse turned and regarded them both as they exited the station.
“Finally ready to go get checked out, son?”
A sense of inevitably settling over him, Matt nodded. “Yeah, dad. You wanna come along?”
Jesse pushed away from the railing. “Sure. Someone’s going to need to make sure that hard head of yours hasn’t finally cracked.”
Matt sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m sure everything’s fine.”
Annoyed by the knowing look passing between Jody and his father, Matt started down the steps, leaving the two to share notes with one another however they pleased. It was beginning to rankle a bit, everyone knowing better than himself on how to handle his condition. Not that he had a ‘condition’.
Christ, it was just a bump on the head and a sore knee.
Locating the Blazer parked next to the equipment shed, Matt climbed into the unlocked vehicle and stretched out as best he couple in the back, tipping his head back to rest against the seat. A few seconds later Jody slipped in behind the wheel, with his father taking the front passenger seat. Matt ducked his head and chuckled to himself at the sudden mental image of his dad and Jody arm wrestling to determine who got to drive.
“You all right, son?”
Matt looked up to find Jesse twisted around in his seat, and studying him closely.
“I’m fine,” he said lightly. “Why?”
Jesse’s lips pressed into a flat line, and he turned back around without comment after giving Matt another long, assessing look.
In the reflection of the Blazer’s interior rear view mirror, Matt saw that Jody was watching him too, his eyes narrowed slightly. Matt shrugged at him. Slouching down in his seat, Matt snapped his seat beat closed and settled in for the ride to the hospital.
The trip proved blessedly uneventful, and Jody maneuvered the Blazer over half flooded roads skillfully, exchanging a few words with Jesse, who offered directions to the quickest route. As promised, Dr. Parker was waiting for Matt, and ushered him into a room as soon as they arrived with only a curious glance at Jody, and a nod to Jesse. Matt winced as he sat down on the examination table, the ache in his head and twinge in his knee competing for his attention.
Jody and Jesse retreated to the waiting area, and Matt spent a few surreal moments absorbing the fact that his lover and his dad were, at that moment, either engaging in an epically awkward conversation, or studiously ignoring one another.
The next couple hours passed as they usually did in the hospital, uncomfortably, as he was poked, prodded, and scanned. Eventually Jody and Jesse were called in from the waiting room as the doctor shared his findings which consisted of a slight concussion, and a strained knee. As far as the concussion went the doctor was willing to release Matt to go home to rest and recover, on the condition that someone would be able to check on him every few hours.
At his side, Jody volunteered to be the one to do the checking, and his while his dad pursed his lips, he remained silent. Matt zoned out for a bit as they discussed bed rest, and the avoidance of any stimulating activities. So, no watching tv, or even reading.
And definitely no sex. Fuck.
Matt frowned. Had Dr. Parker actually said no sex, or just inferred it? Maybe it was more a guideline than a rule. He looked up with curiosity, and watched Jody and the doctor continuing their conversation, Jody nodding here and there.
Matt’s thoughts drifted again. It wasn’t until someone mentioned ‘knee’ and ‘therapy’ that lassoed his attention back around. He refocused to find Jody, Dr. Parker and his dad watching him expectantly.
This is so weird.
Matt searched his memory, but didn’t recall being asked a question.
“What?”
The three men shared a look, and Dr. Parker clarified. “I hear that you’ve been skipping your physical therapy sessions for your knee.”
Matt stared at the doctor as the words clicked in, finally making sense.
“Oh, yeah, that.”
Jody’s lips pressed together, his dad sighed, and Matt gritted his teeth as his headache intensified.
“Look, I’ve just been busy. I didn’t plan on canceling. It just kinda happened.”
“Well,” Dr. Parker began as he pulled out a prescription pad and pen from the pocket of his white lab coat and scribbled something on it. “I’ll expect you to reschedule those appointments. I’m sending you home on two days mandatory bed rest. You need calm, and quiet, and after that, if no further symptoms present, two weeks of light duty at work, Matt. That means no strenuous activity at work for two weeks.”
Matt bit back a groan. “I know what it means.”
“Do you?” Parker asked, brow lifting. He tore off the page from his pad and handed it to Jody, which was annoying for reasons Matt was unclear on.
“This is a prescription for pain,” Dr. Parker said, and then turned to Jody and Jesse. “And make certain that he’s checked on at least every eight hours. If he becomes markedly more confused, nauseous, has persistent pain in his head or problems with his balance, bring him back in.”
More confused?
“I’m not confused, I’m concussed” Matt blurted, then grinned.
No one else seemed to appreciate the joke.
Jezz. Tough room.
Jody folded the script and slipped it into his jeans pocket. “Don’t worry. I’ll keep an eye on him. I’ve dealt with concussions before; I know what to look for.”
Matt piped up. “I know what to look for too, you know. Dr. Parker knows. Remember that time I wiped out on Spy Glass? Christ, that was crazy.”
Again, the doctor, Jody and his dad shared a look. Matt bristled, somehow suspecting he’d become the butt of a joke he hadn’t been let in on. He folded his arms over his chest, scowling at all of them equally.
Dr. Parker seemed satisfied despite Matt’s displeasure. “Matt, I’m sending you home with Mr. McKinnon. He has the prescription for you. I expect you to use it.”
Matt nodded, getting stuck on ‘sending you home with Mr. McKinnon’.
That sounded nice. More than nice. He looked at Jody. “We’re going home?”
Jody smiled, and stepping close, kissed Matt’s brow. “Yep. We are.”
Matt wondered what Dr. Parker and his dad thought of this, but when Jody stepped back he realized that both men had gone. Matt looked around the cramped room. “Where’d they go?”
Jody smiled again, and slipping a hand under Matt’s elbow, helped him slip off the examination table. “The doc left to tend to his other patients. Your dad is waiting outside, you just didn’t notice them leaving. I think it’s time to get you home and in bed.”
Matt didn’t feel like arguing, especially with the way those words sounded coming out of Jody’s mouth.
No strenuous activity, though. Fuck.
They found Jesse waiting just outside the ER entrance, gazing up at the dark skies. Matt wondered briefly what he was looking for. Jesse turned to greet them as they approached.
“You all finished up?”
“Yeah, I guess. Need a ride, dad?”
Jesse shook his head. “No, son. Cody and I are staying over with your mom. I’ll head back over there. I think we’ll be staying a few days, just in case.”
Matt peered at his father, unsure what ‘just in case’ meant, then giving up, added for Jody’s benefit. “Mom’s place is only a couple blocks away. She lives in a townhome over on the east side.”
“Jody.” Jesse held out his hand and Matt watched as Jody grasped it. “Call me and let me know you made it home safely with him. You have the number.”
Jody promised that he would, and they shook on it. Matt stuck his hands in his jacket pockets and accepted that he now lived in the Twilight Zone where his boyfriend had his mom’s phone number and was promising to call and talk to his dad. Jesse released Jody’s hand, and turning to Matt tilted his head, regarding him closely.
“Call your mother in the morning,” Jesse said, then with a pointed glance at Jody, turned and stepped off the curb and started across the parking lot.
“Night, dad,” Matt called out, watching him go.
“Goodnight, son,” Jesse replied, lifting a hand as he strode away.
After a moment, Jody said, “Your dad is interesting.”
Matt snorted. “Sure. You say that now. Just wait.”
The ride home passed uneventfully. The rain started back up, but only very thinly, barely a sprinkle as they stepped up to his cabin’s front door. From someplace Jody pulled out a key and slotted it into the lock. Matt remembered with a start that he’d given Jody the key after their date, a few days prior. How had he forgotten that? He smiled, recalling the sweetness, and the heat, and all the beautiful things that had passed between them during that time.
“What are you smiling at?” Jody asked as he guided Matt inside, closing and locking the door behind them.
Matt shrugged and looked away, strangely reluctant to admit to what he’d been thinking about.
“Nothing.”
He wasn’t sure how to explain that he’d smiled because of the memory of morning sunlight on Jody’s skin, or coffee flavored kisses shared on his back porch.
“When’s the last time you had something to eat?”
Lost in thought, Matt startled slightly as warm fingers curled under his chin, lifting his head.
“You with me baby? When did you last eat?”
Liking the feel of Jody’s fingers, Matt smiled again. His head hurt, his knee hurt, but Jody was here, so everything was okay. That thought struck through him, a sharp reverb amplified the more he thought about it. When had that happened?
When did being with Jody become equal to being okay?
“Um… I dunno. Lunch, maybe? Or breakfast this morning?”
“All right. How about you sit down and I’ll get you something? You need to take your meds with food.”
Matt nodded, happy to get off his feet. He collapsed into one the chairs at the kitchen table, and watched Jody delve into his refrigerator. After a minute, he let his eyes drift shut, and just listened to the sound of Jody moving around and murmuring about soups or sandwiches, and did they have any tomatoes?
You say tomato, I say tomato.
“Hey.”
Matt opened his eyes. A glass of milk and a plate of food sat before him, a thick sandwich stacked with cold cuts, cheese and what appeared to be lettuce and tomato.
“So we did have tomatoes.” Matt commented.
Watching him with a gentle upward curve to his mouth, Jody pushed the plate closer Matt’s way.
“Eat up. And take these,” Jody said, shaking two white pills out from an orange plastic pill bottle.
Palming the pills, Matt downed them with a swig of milk, only realizing afterwards that he had no memory of them stopping on the way back to the cabin to fill the prescription, but they must have. He tucked eagerly into his sandwich, and Jody did the same with one of his own. After a while Jody stood up from the table, and disappeared down the hall.
“Hey, did you call my dad?” Matt called out between bites when Jody didn’t immediately return, and once again was hit with the sensation of how bizarre that sounded.
“Yeah, a while ago,” Jody answered, and Matt paused in lifting his sandwich. He didn’t remember that either, but then it seemed he was having trouble focusing.
Matt finished his meal and sat back, looking back down the hallway at the sound of running water.
The hallway light was on, a soft glow that spilled into the bathroom doorway. Standing, he followed the sound of the water into the bathroom, and found Jody in the half-light, sitting on the edge of the tub, one hand held under the faucet, testing the temperature of the water streaming out. The bathroom’s overhead light was off, but the borrowed brightness from the hallway lent enough of a glow that Matt could see well enough. Jody looked up as he stepped over the threshold.
“What are you doing?”
Jody smiled. “Drawing you a bath, genius. What’s it look like?”
Matt blinked, studying the man before him. So handsome, so strong and reassuring. Sexy as fuck, too, but that went without saying.
“But you don’t--” Matt broke off, unsure suddenly, of what he needed to say.
Jody pulled his hand from the water, and twisting the brushed nickel knob, shut off the tap. The tub was mostly full, wisps of steam rising pleasingly from the rippling water. Jody straightened, drying his fingers on his pants leg. At some point he’d taken off his jacket, and the light grey sweater he wore looked soft and warm and clung beautifully along the lines of muscle of his chest and arms.
“I don’t what?”
“This,” and Matt waved a hand toward the tub, groping for the proper word to label just what it was Jody was doing. “You don’t have to… do all this.”
Jody stilled, and after studying Matt intently for a moment tilted his head. “I know it, but I want to.”
Matt absorbed this as Jody continued to watch him.
“Will you let me take care of you, baby?”
The question seemed unreasonably complex and Matt’s heartbeat ticked up in rhythm as he fumbled for a proper reply. His conflict must have shown on his face as Jody was moving suddenly. For a guy his size, he could damn well move quickly. Stepping in close, Jody lifted his hands, carefully framing Matt’s face.
“You’re not used to being the one being taken care of, are you?”
Matt’s brow furrowed. He blinked. Everything suddenly felt horribly, stupidly complicated and he didn’t like it. His tongue felt thick and frustratingly useless.
“Shhh,” Jody soothed, kissing his temple, and the tip of his nose. “It’s okay. It’s the concussion. It’s making you feel off balance, I think.”
Matt nodded, relieved, willing to accept the explanation, an encompassing warmth stealing over him as Jody gentled a kiss to his mouth.
“Let’s get you into the tub, okay?” Jody asked softly.
Matt nodded, liking that idea and stood compliant as Jody began removing his clothes. It was done gently, Jody’s touch unprovocative and efficient, and soon Matt was naked. With Jody’s hand under his elbow, he stepped over the side of the tub, sinking blissfully down into the heated water. Leaning back, Matt let his head rest against the lip of the tub, and sighed as the warmth permeated him.
Careful fingers carded through his hair, smoothing it back from his temple. Already his eyes were drooping. He was suddenly very, very tired.
“Just relax, angel. Let me handle things tonight, all right?” Jody asked quietly.
Enjoying the fingers moving slowly in his hair Matt nodded, settling on the simplest, easiest reply he could think of.
“Okay.”
****Additional Notes****
Yall, I can't even with this chapter. Most of it was written by Sunday (and damn but I missed my weekly update!) but I just couldn't stop tinkering with it, and each time I was ready to post, I realized I'd forgotten something that needed addressing. This whole chapter began with the image of Jody holding a concussed, confused Matt, and telling him "You're not used to being taken care of, are you?" Everything else was built around that idea, and in my world, Matt has taken on a lot of responsibility from a young age. He's been taught to be self-reliant and I think somewhere along the way, forgot what it was really like to have someone take care of him.
I've never had a concussion, thankfully, so I did play that up perhaps more than it normally might be. I hope that came across, that Matt was in turns unfocused, confused and a tad more emotional than normal.
I loved getting the rest of gang in this time (sorry Jim! He had a moment last chapter, and will be around again I'm sure) especially Frank, and for reasons that shall remain untold for the moment, :-D. I'm seeing my Frank as a rather calm but intense guy, much like Mr. McKinnon.
If anyone can clue me in! I'm describing Frank with black hair and brown eyes. I did some googling but even in pics it's hard to tell if his hair was really straight black, or dark, dark brown? And his eyes look dark, so I just went with brown. It's my fic so I can do whatever, but I tend to obsess over these things. I wish we had the show on dvd or something where I could see things clearly!
Anywho, as always, share feedback/thoughts/rambles in the comments as desired!
Re: All the good hurty things!
Date: 2022-10-03 06:21 pm (UTC)