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So, I used to post this each year, but I think I skipped last year...and maybe, the year before. But anyway! I remembered this total insanity I tell you! Look away! Look away! bit of nonsense and decided to revive the tradition. As usual, I wish I had fic to offer, but, though there's a lot of ideas dancing in my head, none are quite ready to be read. :P
Here's wishing everyone a safe and peaceful holiday, in whatever way you chose to celebrate, and if you don't, well then here's wishing you a mighty fine Saturday. *hugs all round*
So here you are, a complete and utter perversion of “Twas the Night Before Christmas” by Clement Clarke Moore. Athousand million apologies to Mr. Moore.
Title: Twas The Night Before Christmas
Pairings: Aragorn/Boromir/Faramir
Nc17-ish
Feedback: welcomed and appreciated
~*~
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The computer was on and ready to go,
in hopes that the muses would finally show.
I, the fangirl was nestled snug in bed,
while visions of naked sweaty boys danced my head.
Microsoft Word was up, the keyboard was ready,
and I settled my brain to write something quite heady.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
tore open the blinds, and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the newly cut lawn
gave the luster of midday to objects in the pre-dawn,
when, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a nearly naked Aragorn snogging a completely naked Boromir.
Hot and luscious they kissed, their hands so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it was the Muses I was waiting for, this wasn’t no St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles, Aragorn gave Boromir a last lusty taste,
and holding him tight whistled and shouted and called out with haste:
Now, Boromir! Mine own, so sexy and pretty!
Now, Faramir! Such a devoted, eager little kitty!
To the top of the fandom!
To the top of the net!
Let’s get it on, anything goes but het!
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky
so up to the window the muses did come,
with ideas of their own, and all wanting to get some.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard sounds of joy,
the panting and moaning of each pretty boy.
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
through the window Aragorn!muse came with a bound.
He was dressed in a cloak, through which his cock thrust,
and his smile was all warm with mischief and lust.
A bundle of Gondorian brothers he had at his back,
both blonds gazing at one another as if ready to attack.
Aragorn!muses’ eyes--how they twinkled! His grin, how dirty!
His chest was all sweaty, nipples standing up and flirty!
He had a handsome face and a flat taut belly,
that rippled when he laughed, turning my knees to jelly.
His grin grew wider as he looked at his lovers,
and so I turned and looked at the pretty blond brothers.
They were kissing and rubbing their bodies together,
I thought I could stand and watch them forever.
Boromir stopped kissing and I stared at his lips,
then my gaze wandered down to his hips.
A wink of his eye and a step toward the bed
had Faramir moaning and tossing his head.
Aragorn!muse watched them a moment, then went straight to his work,
saying, “You must stop writing fiction where Boromir dies, don’t be a jerk.”
And wrapping his fingers around his cock,
gave me a nod, and looking upon the brothers began to rock.
He called out ‘Boromir!’ and came with a shout,
And then the brothers came, both calling out.
And I heard Aragorn exclaim, looking at his boys, “Elebreth, they’re so fucking hot."
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good plot!"
Here's wishing everyone a safe and peaceful holiday, in whatever way you chose to celebrate, and if you don't, well then here's wishing you a mighty fine Saturday. *hugs all round*
So here you are, a complete and utter perversion of “Twas the Night Before Christmas” by Clement Clarke Moore. A
Title: Twas The Night Before Christmas
Pairings: Aragorn/Boromir/Faramir
Nc17-ish
Feedback: welcomed and appreciated
~*~
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The computer was on and ready to go,
in hopes that the muses would finally show.
I, the fangirl was nestled snug in bed,
while visions of naked sweaty boys danced my head.
Microsoft Word was up, the keyboard was ready,
and I settled my brain to write something quite heady.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
tore open the blinds, and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the newly cut lawn
gave the luster of midday to objects in the pre-dawn,
when, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a nearly naked Aragorn snogging a completely naked Boromir.
Hot and luscious they kissed, their hands so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it was the Muses I was waiting for, this wasn’t no St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles, Aragorn gave Boromir a last lusty taste,
and holding him tight whistled and shouted and called out with haste:
Now, Boromir! Mine own, so sexy and pretty!
Now, Faramir! Such a devoted, eager little kitty!
To the top of the fandom!
To the top of the net!
Let’s get it on, anything goes but het!
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky
so up to the window the muses did come,
with ideas of their own, and all wanting to get some.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard sounds of joy,
the panting and moaning of each pretty boy.
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
through the window Aragorn!muse came with a bound.
He was dressed in a cloak, through which his cock thrust,
and his smile was all warm with mischief and lust.
A bundle of Gondorian brothers he had at his back,
both blonds gazing at one another as if ready to attack.
Aragorn!muses’ eyes--how they twinkled! His grin, how dirty!
His chest was all sweaty, nipples standing up and flirty!
He had a handsome face and a flat taut belly,
that rippled when he laughed, turning my knees to jelly.
His grin grew wider as he looked at his lovers,
and so I turned and looked at the pretty blond brothers.
They were kissing and rubbing their bodies together,
I thought I could stand and watch them forever.
Boromir stopped kissing and I stared at his lips,
then my gaze wandered down to his hips.
A wink of his eye and a step toward the bed
had Faramir moaning and tossing his head.
Aragorn!muse watched them a moment, then went straight to his work,
saying, “You must stop writing fiction where Boromir dies, don’t be a jerk.”
And wrapping his fingers around his cock,
gave me a nod, and looking upon the brothers began to rock.
He called out ‘Boromir!’ and came with a shout,
And then the brothers came, both calling out.
And I heard Aragorn exclaim, looking at his boys, “Elebreth, they’re so fucking hot."
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good plot!"
no subject
Date: 2011-12-25 02:46 pm (UTC)That made your senses go all in a whirl
You dreamt that you saw Aragorn's naked cock
But did you see if he wore a bright red sock?
On his FOOT you dafty, and not on a willy
(why would he do anything quite so silly)
But Boromir NAKED - Oh GLORIOUS SIGHT
Then Faramir also ... OMG! Two blondes so bright
A-rubbing and a-scrubbing, their bodies all hot
And Aragorn watching, his hand doing a 'frotte'
What a vision, a miracle, to this sacred Star
I'd follow on camel, in bus or by car
If you tell me the address, I'll book me a bed
In a nearby hotel, and when the Muse is again led
To bring such wonders the Night Before Christmas
I'll bring a camera, and mike so we don't miss much!
And can replay it over and over again
As long as it doesn't blow the Computer again!
Thanks for the lovely idiotic marvellous silly insane and entertaining poem.
And the idea of gooood LORD.... that lot, and Aragorns cloak...aaaahhhh
YOU WICKED WOMAN.... OH WHAT FUN!!!!! can I pat Bor's bum?
no subject
Date: 2011-12-25 05:03 pm (UTC)Yes, you may pat Boromir's bum, but only if Aragorn says it is ok. ;)