This is just so wrong,
Jul. 22nd, 2005 11:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
archetso wrong, on so many levels...and not even all that clever. I don't know how it happened, only that once I'd started, I couldn't stop. *flees*
Complete and utter perversion of "Twas the Night Before Christmas" by Clement Clarke Moore
And, Aragorn/Boromir/Faramir
And, Nc 17-ish
Twas the day before Saturday, when all through the house
not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The computer was on and ready to go,
in hopes that the muses would finally show.
I, the fangirl was nestled snug in bed,
while visions of naked sweaty boys danced my head.
Microsoft Word was up, the keyboard was ready,
and I settled my brain to write something quite heady.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
tore open the blinds, and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the newly cut lawn
gave the luster of midday to objects in the pre-dawn,
when, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a nearly naked Aragorn snogging a completely naked Boromir.
Hot and luscious they kissed, their hands so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it was the Muses I was waiting for, this wasn’t no St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles, Aragorn gave Boromir a last lusty taste,
and holding him tight whistled and shouted and called out with haste:
Now, Boromir! Mine own, so sexy and pretty!
Now, Faramir! Such a devoted, eager little kitty!
To the top of the fandom!
To the top of the net!
Let’s get it on, anything goes but het!
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky
so up to the window the muses did come,
with ideas of their own, and all wanting to get some.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard sounds of joy,
the panting and moaning of each pretty boy.
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
through the window Aragorn!muse came with a bound.
He was dressed in a cloak, through which his cock thrust,
and his smile was all warm with mischief and lust.
A bundle of Gondorian brothers he had at his back,
both blonds gazing at one another as if ready to attack.
Aragorn!muses’s eyes--how they twinkled! His grin, how dirty!
His chest was all sweaty, nipples standing up and flirty!
He had a handsome face and a flat taut belly,
that rippled when he laughed, turning my knees to jelly.
His grin grew wider as he looked at his lovers,
and so I turned and looked at the pretty blond brothers.
They were kissing and rubbing their bodies together,
I thought I could stand and watch them forever.
Boromir stopped kissing and I stared at his lips,
then my gaze wandered down to his hips.
A wink of his eye and a step toward the bed
had Faramir moaning and tossing his head.
Aragorn!muse watched them a moment, then went straight to his work,
saying, “You must stop writing fiction where Boromir dies, don’t be a jerk.”
And wrapping his fingers around his cock,
gave me a nod, and looking upon the brothers began to rock.
He called out ‘Boromir!’ and came with a shout,
And then the brothers came, both calling out.
And I heard Aragorn exclaim, looking at his boys, “Elebreth, they’re so fucking hot."
"Happy Friday to all, and to all a good plot!"
Complete and utter perversion of "Twas the Night Before Christmas" by Clement Clarke Moore
And, Aragorn/Boromir/Faramir
And, Nc 17-ish
Twas the day before Saturday, when all through the house
not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The computer was on and ready to go,
in hopes that the muses would finally show.
I, the fangirl was nestled snug in bed,
while visions of naked sweaty boys danced my head.
Microsoft Word was up, the keyboard was ready,
and I settled my brain to write something quite heady.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
tore open the blinds, and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the newly cut lawn
gave the luster of midday to objects in the pre-dawn,
when, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a nearly naked Aragorn snogging a completely naked Boromir.
Hot and luscious they kissed, their hands so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it was the Muses I was waiting for, this wasn’t no St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles, Aragorn gave Boromir a last lusty taste,
and holding him tight whistled and shouted and called out with haste:
Now, Boromir! Mine own, so sexy and pretty!
Now, Faramir! Such a devoted, eager little kitty!
To the top of the fandom!
To the top of the net!
Let’s get it on, anything goes but het!
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky
so up to the window the muses did come,
with ideas of their own, and all wanting to get some.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard sounds of joy,
the panting and moaning of each pretty boy.
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
through the window Aragorn!muse came with a bound.
He was dressed in a cloak, through which his cock thrust,
and his smile was all warm with mischief and lust.
A bundle of Gondorian brothers he had at his back,
both blonds gazing at one another as if ready to attack.
Aragorn!muses’s eyes--how they twinkled! His grin, how dirty!
His chest was all sweaty, nipples standing up and flirty!
He had a handsome face and a flat taut belly,
that rippled when he laughed, turning my knees to jelly.
His grin grew wider as he looked at his lovers,
and so I turned and looked at the pretty blond brothers.
They were kissing and rubbing their bodies together,
I thought I could stand and watch them forever.
Boromir stopped kissing and I stared at his lips,
then my gaze wandered down to his hips.
A wink of his eye and a step toward the bed
had Faramir moaning and tossing his head.
Aragorn!muse watched them a moment, then went straight to his work,
saying, “You must stop writing fiction where Boromir dies, don’t be a jerk.”
And wrapping his fingers around his cock,
gave me a nod, and looking upon the brothers began to rock.
He called out ‘Boromir!’ and came with a shout,
And then the brothers came, both calling out.
And I heard Aragorn exclaim, looking at his boys, “Elebreth, they’re so fucking hot."
"Happy Friday to all, and to all a good plot!"
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-07-22 06:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-22 06:37 pm (UTC)Now, Faramir! Such a devoted, eager little kitty!
To the top of the fandom!
To the top of the net!
Let’s get it on, anything goes but het!
I can't stop laughing! This was hot and smutty and silly and a heck of a way to slide into the weekend!
A muse of mine is gaping and stammering "kitten??!?!!!"
no subject
Date: 2005-07-22 07:03 pm (UTC)A muse of mine is gaping and stammering "kitten??!?!!!"
Oh, but if you scratch him just right he does purr, and I needed something to rhyme with pretty, *g*
no subject
Date: 2005-07-22 07:07 pm (UTC)Words and phrases that rhyme with pretty: (59 results)
2 syllables:
bitty, chitty, citi, city, clytie, ditty, gritty, hitty, itty, kitty, litty, miltie, nitty, pity, smitty, twitty, whitty, witty
3 syllables:
commitee, committee, mcquitty, sioux city, tarditi, with pity
4 syllables:
carson city, central city, fulginiti, holy city, inner city, itty-bitty, kansas city, motor city, new york city, quebec city, salt lake city, subcommittee, windy city
5 syllables:
atlantic city, celestial city, eternal city, ethics committee, finance committee, forbidden city, heavenly city, ho chi minh city, jefferson city, luxembourg city, mexico city, panama city, standing committee, steering committee, vatican city
6 syllables:
citizens committee, guatemala city, oklahoma city, vigilance committee, ways and means committee, welcoming committee
9 syllables:
political action committee
Faramir: Oh stop showing off, mun. *purrs in Boromir's direction*
no subject
Date: 2005-07-22 08:24 pm (UTC)*pets purring pup*
no subject
Date: 2005-07-22 11:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-23 03:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-23 07:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-23 03:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-23 11:51 pm (UTC)while visions of naked sweaty boys danced my head.
*snickers* We've all been there ;)
This had me laughing out loud, and had such a Friday feel to it!
Brilliant :)
no subject
Date: 2005-07-24 12:38 am (UTC)Hee! Oh yeah, I'm so there. *g*
So glad this made you laugh...I know I had quite a good time with it, thank you! ;)
no subject
Date: 2005-07-25 02:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-25 04:18 am (UTC)