Hawaii 5-0 Fic
Aug. 17th, 2020 01:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
archetTitle: Inappropriate Volcanoes
Fandom: Hawaii 5-0
Pairing: Danny/Steve
Summary: Jesus, Danny, the way you’re acting, you’d think I"d tossed a flash-bang in the middle of the classroom.
Disclaimer: I did not create these characters, only this fic. No infringement intended.
Feedback: welcomed and appreciated!
Crossposted: to A03
Note: total fluff, dialogue only.
“Okay. Okay, just listen for a minute will you?”
“Fine.”
“I am not saying, that I don’t appreciate you helping Grace with her science fair project, all right? When did I ever say that, huh? When exactly did those words leave my mouth, cause let me tell you, babe, despite what you like to think, I am very much aware of what comes out of my mouth on a daily, hourly, minute-by-minute basis, okay? Do you get that? I am cognizant of every single utterance.”
“Utterance? Really?”
“Look, you, shut up, I’m still laying down the law here.”
“Sorry, sorry, go ahead with that then—‘cause Danny, by the time you’re finished there won’t be a problem anymore ‘cause by then Gracie’ll be graduated, married, with kids of her own. Hey, maybe then they can come listen too, and save you from having to repeat yourself.”
“Hilarious. You’re hilarious, you know that?”
“You’re not laughing, Danno.”
“I’m not. And don’t talk to me about Gracie and kids, because where do babies come from? Sex. Sexual relations, and I’ll have you know, my daughter is not having sex at least until she’s thirty-five.”
“Forty.”
“Even better.”
“Let’s just pack her off to a convent and call it settled.”
“Don’t think you’re getting me off topic here. You know why I’m not laughing? Because this is serious. This is a serious conversation I am attempting to conduct with you about very serious topics.”
“Jesus, Danny, the way you’re acting, you’d think I'd tossed a flash-bang in the middle of the classroom.”
“Well, you’re not far off.”
“Bull shit! Danny, for fuck’s sake, there wasn’t anything in that mixture that could’ve hurt anyone.”
“Except school property, Steven! And do you even know how hard it is to get food coloring out of clothing?”
“Not really, no.”
“Majorly fucking hard. Look, what I am saying is that I do not want to get another call from Grace’s principal, okay? Things like that is just what Rachel loves to throw up in my face.”
“So, this little freak out is really about Rachel. Got it.”
“No, Steven. No, it is not. This conversation is about you, once again disregarding basic safety regulations.”
“Aw, Danno. It was a perfectly controlled reaction.”
“Don’t! Don’t ‘aw Danno’ me, Steven. And, I might add, a perfectly controlled reaction would not have half the classroom covered in slime.”
“The kids loved it.”
“Jesus Christ. Of course they loved it, but that does not mean it was appropriate for a classroom setting.”
“All right, maybe I went a tad overboard. But Gracie still got an A, that counts for something, right?”
“A tad? For your information a tad overboard is when you put too much sugar in your coffee, or too much---wait. Wait a minute. She still got an A?”
“Yes, since you asked. She did. The teacher thought it was an, and I quote, ‘an inventive take on the traditional erupting volcano’.”
“Hm.”
“What? That’s all you’ve got to say, Danno?”
“No….just, wait. You weren’t wearing the white polo shirt were you? The one that’s too tight?”
“What? I dunno. Maybe. What difference does it make?”
“Ha! All the difference, my friend. You charmed that A out of Grace’s teacher.”
“That’s ridiculous. Prosperous.”
“Ha! You only break out the thesaurus when you know I’m right.”
“Will you stop saying ‘ha’. Look. I may have, just a little, smoothed things over.”
“You gave her the eyes didn’t you?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Oh, please. You gave her that whole, I’m a big lunk-head, aw shucks, look at my pretty eyes routine.”
“Do you know you wave your hands around, like, a lot when you talk? And you think my eyes are pretty?”
“That is, not the point, here.”
“So you do think my eyes are pretty.”
“Not relevant to this conversation, but yes, I do.”
“I think your eyes are pretty too, Danno.”
“Thank you, but again, not relevant.”
“Danno. I’ve always loved your eyes.”
“Babe, I hear you, but can we please-"
“You wanna know why I love your eyes?”
“Fine. Fine, why?”
“Because they're honest. They don’t lie to me. You don’t lie to me.”
“Steve, I just-you can’t just-say stuff like that.”
“Can’t what, Danno? Say I love your eyes. Say I trust you. Say I love you, Danno?”
“You’re evil. Pure, unadulterated, evil.”
“Let me take you to bed, Danny.”
“You promise, no more explosions or reactions or any other combustive incidents at our daughter’s school?”
“I promise, Danno.”
“Fine. Lead the way.”
“C’mere, Danno.”
“Umph…I can walk, Steven.”
“I know, but admit it, this is much more fun.”
“Animal.”
“You love it.”
“I love you, lunk-head.”
“I know, Danno. I know.”
Fandom: Hawaii 5-0
Pairing: Danny/Steve
Summary: Jesus, Danny, the way you’re acting, you’d think I"d tossed a flash-bang in the middle of the classroom.
Disclaimer: I did not create these characters, only this fic. No infringement intended.
Feedback: welcomed and appreciated!
Crossposted: to A03
Note: total fluff, dialogue only.
“Okay. Okay, just listen for a minute will you?”
“Fine.”
“I am not saying, that I don’t appreciate you helping Grace with her science fair project, all right? When did I ever say that, huh? When exactly did those words leave my mouth, cause let me tell you, babe, despite what you like to think, I am very much aware of what comes out of my mouth on a daily, hourly, minute-by-minute basis, okay? Do you get that? I am cognizant of every single utterance.”
“Utterance? Really?”
“Look, you, shut up, I’m still laying down the law here.”
“Sorry, sorry, go ahead with that then—‘cause Danny, by the time you’re finished there won’t be a problem anymore ‘cause by then Gracie’ll be graduated, married, with kids of her own. Hey, maybe then they can come listen too, and save you from having to repeat yourself.”
“Hilarious. You’re hilarious, you know that?”
“You’re not laughing, Danno.”
“I’m not. And don’t talk to me about Gracie and kids, because where do babies come from? Sex. Sexual relations, and I’ll have you know, my daughter is not having sex at least until she’s thirty-five.”
“Forty.”
“Even better.”
“Let’s just pack her off to a convent and call it settled.”
“Don’t think you’re getting me off topic here. You know why I’m not laughing? Because this is serious. This is a serious conversation I am attempting to conduct with you about very serious topics.”
“Jesus, Danny, the way you’re acting, you’d think I'd tossed a flash-bang in the middle of the classroom.”
“Well, you’re not far off.”
“Bull shit! Danny, for fuck’s sake, there wasn’t anything in that mixture that could’ve hurt anyone.”
“Except school property, Steven! And do you even know how hard it is to get food coloring out of clothing?”
“Not really, no.”
“Majorly fucking hard. Look, what I am saying is that I do not want to get another call from Grace’s principal, okay? Things like that is just what Rachel loves to throw up in my face.”
“So, this little freak out is really about Rachel. Got it.”
“No, Steven. No, it is not. This conversation is about you, once again disregarding basic safety regulations.”
“Aw, Danno. It was a perfectly controlled reaction.”
“Don’t! Don’t ‘aw Danno’ me, Steven. And, I might add, a perfectly controlled reaction would not have half the classroom covered in slime.”
“The kids loved it.”
“Jesus Christ. Of course they loved it, but that does not mean it was appropriate for a classroom setting.”
“All right, maybe I went a tad overboard. But Gracie still got an A, that counts for something, right?”
“A tad? For your information a tad overboard is when you put too much sugar in your coffee, or too much---wait. Wait a minute. She still got an A?”
“Yes, since you asked. She did. The teacher thought it was an, and I quote, ‘an inventive take on the traditional erupting volcano’.”
“Hm.”
“What? That’s all you’ve got to say, Danno?”
“No….just, wait. You weren’t wearing the white polo shirt were you? The one that’s too tight?”
“What? I dunno. Maybe. What difference does it make?”
“Ha! All the difference, my friend. You charmed that A out of Grace’s teacher.”
“That’s ridiculous. Prosperous.”
“Ha! You only break out the thesaurus when you know I’m right.”
“Will you stop saying ‘ha’. Look. I may have, just a little, smoothed things over.”
“You gave her the eyes didn’t you?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Oh, please. You gave her that whole, I’m a big lunk-head, aw shucks, look at my pretty eyes routine.”
“Do you know you wave your hands around, like, a lot when you talk? And you think my eyes are pretty?”
“That is, not the point, here.”
“So you do think my eyes are pretty.”
“Not relevant to this conversation, but yes, I do.”
“I think your eyes are pretty too, Danno.”
“Thank you, but again, not relevant.”
“Danno. I’ve always loved your eyes.”
“Babe, I hear you, but can we please-"
“You wanna know why I love your eyes?”
“Fine. Fine, why?”
“Because they're honest. They don’t lie to me. You don’t lie to me.”
“Steve, I just-you can’t just-say stuff like that.”
“Can’t what, Danno? Say I love your eyes. Say I trust you. Say I love you, Danno?”
“You’re evil. Pure, unadulterated, evil.”
“Let me take you to bed, Danny.”
“You promise, no more explosions or reactions or any other combustive incidents at our daughter’s school?”
“I promise, Danno.”
“Fine. Lead the way.”
“C’mere, Danno.”
“Umph…I can walk, Steven.”
“I know, but admit it, this is much more fun.”
“Animal.”
“You love it.”
“I love you, lunk-head.”
“I know, Danno. I know.”
